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In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this? 1BBW
Water and air pollution are the main problems developing countries are facing because of the industrialization and rapid growth in construction business. First of all, in developing nations, water is the main natural resource. Most of the population is depend on them to survive. So it is our duty to keep these natural resources clean. I think that governments of developing nations should implement well managed and structuralized water recycling system. That will not only help to remove waste materials from the water but also provides sufficient water for our daily requirements. Apart from this states should define proper rules and regulations for water usage in construction and industries. Strict punishments should be awarded to those who are breaking these laws frequently. In these countries, people are mostly depending on river water. Governing bodies should take special care to clean these rivers so that everyone can get fresh water. Apart from water, air is also a critical resource. In developing nations, because of the rapid growth and industries, quality of the air is gradually decreasing. Government should define air pollution measurements and should make people aware on drawbacks of air pollutions. Carbone emission should be restricted and state should encourage citizens to plant and maintain tress and forests. People should use recycled products if they are available in the market so that we do not require reproducing them again and this way we can lower down the air pollution generated from industries. Also it is require implementing strong measurements to tackle air pollution and by this way we can have a clean and fresh air for everyone. In conclusion, I think that water and air are the main resources for human life. So developing countries should take some concrete decisions to provide best environment to their citizens.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
are the main problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
countries are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the industrialization and rapid growth in construction business.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is the main natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
. Most of the population is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on them to survive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is our duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
these natural resources clean. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
nations should implement well managed and structuralized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
recycling system. That will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to remove waste materials from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for our daily requirements. Apart from
Did you mean "these"?
this
states should define proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage in construction and industries. Strict punishments should
be awarded
to those who are breaking these laws
frequently
. In these countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
mostly
depending on river
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Governing bodies should take special care to clean these rivers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fresh water.

Apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
is
also
a critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
nations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rapid growth and industries, quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
is
gradually
decreasing.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
measurements and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware on drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
.
The genitive is possibly missing.
Carbone emission
should
be restricted
and state should encourage citizens to plant and maintain tress and forests.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
recycled products if they are available in the market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we do not require reproducing them again and this way we can lower down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
generated from industries.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it is
Consider using a past participle here: "required".
require
implementing strong measurements to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and by this way we can have a clean and fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
for everyone.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
are the main resources for human life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
countries should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concrete decisions to
A determiner is probably missing here: "provide the best".
provide best
environment to their citizens.
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IELTS essay In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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