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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In this neoteric epoch, woman are vital element of community; however, in some region women do not have interest in marriage. Whereas some group of individuals tend to believe that women are capable of making their own money; consequently, they do not need any financial security, which is brought by marriage. I think in a reverse manner and agree with the given statement. My inclination is justified in ensuing paragraphs. Discussing the reasons, the strongest one to prove my view is self independence. As in this contemporary time the disparity of a man and woman is disappeared; therefore, in working atmosphere females are working shoulder to shoulder with man and able to earn their income, as a result they do not have to rely on marriage for survival. For instance in the U. K one study confirms that majority of independent women do not believe in a marriage, as they are capable to live life on their own. Another reason that women do not want to get married because they do not want to lose their freedom. As Single woman can live life according to her aspects, while married woman can stuck into the relationship and have to limit her boundaries. The best examplication of this is that a married woman always have to ask her husband for permission to do some precise activity. Moreover, modern mentality is another major reason. This is because, in present times women have faith of living single life. Nevertheless, I would not overlook the other side too. As marriage is not only meant for the financial security but also for continue the family forward. As well as marriage is a beautiful relation between two people. Thus, to wrap up the discussion, it can be said that despite of financial security which is beneficial for married women. My reasons, as a woman can be self independent and live free life without any restrictions are logically acceptable.
In this neoteric epoch,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
are vital element of community;
however
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
region
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do not have interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of individuals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “tends”? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so ‘tend’ is not always incorrect.)
tend
to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are capable of making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money;
consequently
, they do not need any financial security, which
is brought
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in a reverse manner and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. My inclination
is justified
in ensuing paragraphs.

Discussing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, the strongest one to prove my view is self independence. As in this contemporary time the disparity of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
is disappeared
;
therefore
, in working atmosphere females are working shoulder to shoulder with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and able to earn their income,
as a result
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
for survival.
For instance
in the U. K one study confirms that majority of independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do not believe in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, as they are capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to lose their freedom. As Single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life according to her aspects, while married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
can stuck into the relationship and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
limit her boundaries. The best
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplication
of this is that a married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ask her husband for permission to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precise activity.
Moreover
, modern mentality is another major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in present times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have faith of living single life.

Nevertheless
, I would not overlook the other side too. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
meant for the financial security
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for continue the family forward.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
relation between two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Thus
, to wrap up the discussion, it can
be said
that
Did you mean “despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
despite of
financial security which is beneficial for married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
can be self independent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
free life without any restrictions are
logically
acceptable.
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IELTS essay In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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