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In many countries Wearing western style dresses like China century does their avoiding the traditional dresses is it a positive or negative development

In many countries Wearing western style dresses like China century does their avoiding the traditional dresses is it a positive or negative development DYjem
In this modern world without any doubt many nations are attracted to the western culture like jeans and churidars while the result has leaving their traditional dresses in my opinion it is in positive thing I will discuss the in the coming paragraph. ” They are too many reasons while I agree that first and foremost jeans and churidars or important in this Eire there is no gender is between the wearing of choosing the clothes. For example people who has retracting to the western culture of their studies and their behaviour. Secondly the trend has completely change the things that it is completely heavyweight it’s not free for wearing also in the society and the people who was the traditional does that change that are backward in a trend Finally the traditional dresses or been used in in rare cases like cultural events to be a part in the way functions or any engagement nowadays the traditional dresses are completely vanished it was ruled by the jeans actually does to the younger generations it is an easy and very comfortable for the people who likes to wear the dresses In conclusion I would like to repeat that wearing jeans and churidars is free and comfortable with compared to the traditional dresses.
In this modern world without any doubt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations
are attracted
to the western culture like jeans and
Possible spelling mistake found.
churidars
while the result has leaving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
in my opinion it is in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing I will discuss the in the coming paragraph. ”

They are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
first
and foremost jeans and
Possible spelling mistake found.
churidars
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in this Eire there is no gender is between the wearing of choosing the clothes.
For example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
retracting to the western culture of their studies and their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

Secondly
the trend has completely
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "changed".
change
the things that it is completely heavyweight it’s not free for wearing
also
in the society and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
does that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that are backward in a trend

Finally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
or been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
rare cases like cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to be a part in the way functions or any engagement nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
are completely vanished it
was ruled
by the jeans actually does to the younger generations it is an easy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "like"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
likes
to wear the dresses

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
would like to repeat that wearing jeans and
Possible spelling mistake found.
churidars
is free and comfortable with compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
.
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IELTS essay In many countries Wearing western style dresses like China century does their avoiding the traditional dresses is it a positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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