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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? BKLw
In western culture, parents are often moved to old age homes. The cost of taking care of them is also paid by the government in some cases. In my opinion, this fee for taking care of ones' own parents should be paid by their family instead of the public authorities. The below paragraphs elucidate the reasons for my view. To embark upon, parents are not a liability on their offsprings. It is the mere duty of the children to look after their elders in old age. Nowadays, people do not have so much time to take proper care of their mother or father. As a result, they are mostly sent to live with other persons of their age where they all are looked after by nurses. At the same time, the cost of these old age homes is bored by the administration for some people. Nonetheless, an old member of the house is not the responsibility of the government to be looked after but it the sole duty of its successors. It is just due to the time constraint that they need to be sent to other location for getting proper attention and the required care. But, the offsprings need to pay the people whom they are delegating their task. For instance, a survey in Britain done by social workers suggested that the people when paid by their children feel joyful to be considered as the part of the family by their young ones. Therefore, the fee should be paid by the members of the house. Moreover, The government need to focus on the overall welfare of the citizens. Utilisation of the part of public funds in taking care of the senior citizens of the country is not enough for all the people in there. Thus, this leads to decrease in the quality of the treatment provided to them. To illustrate, a study on the welfare of the senior people in European countries suggested that the condition of the homes of these people are far better in the nations where the fee is necessary to be paid by the family instead of the authorities because the is the budget allocated is handsome in amount due to the availability of more funds. To sum up, the cost to be paid to the caretakers of the senior citizens should be paid by the family instead of the country administration to ensure them the proper facilities as well as to fulfil the childs' duty.
In western culture, parents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
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moved
to
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old
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age
homes. The cost of taking
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care
of them is
also
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paid
by the
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government
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. In my opinion, this fee for taking
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care
of ones'
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own
parents should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
instead
of the public authorities. The below paragraphs elucidate the reasons for my view.

To embark upon, parents are not a liability on their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
. It is the mere duty of the children to look after their elders in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much time to take proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their mother or father.
As a result
, they are
mostly
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sent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with other persons of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
where they all
are looked
after by nurses. At the same time, the cost of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
homes
is bored
by the administration for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Nonetheless, an
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old
member of the
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house
is not the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
be looked
after
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but
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
the sole duty of its successors. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
due to the time constraint that they need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to other location for getting proper attention and the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
need to pay the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whom they are delegating their task.
For instance
, a survey in Britain done by social workers suggested that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
by their children feel joyful to
be considered
as the part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
by their young ones.
Therefore
, the fee should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
by the members of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Moreover
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to focus on the
overall
welfare of the citizens.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Utilisation' is British English.
Utilisation
of the part of public funds in taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the senior citizens of the country is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in there.
Thus
, this leads to decrease in the quality of the treatment provided to them. To illustrate, a study on the welfare of the senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in European countries suggested that the condition of the homes of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are far better in the nations where the fee is necessary to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
instead
of the authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Please check whether a word is missing between 'the' and 'is' or whether 'the' is the correct determiner.
the
is the budget allocated is handsome in amount due to the availability of more funds.

To sum up, the cost to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to the caretakers of the senior citizens should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
instead
of the country administration to ensure them the proper facilities
as well
as to fulfil the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "children", the plural form of the noun 'child'?
childs
' duty.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
411 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.