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In a family, both men and women should be employed outside the home and share childcare equally. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In a family, both men and women should be employed outside the home and share childcare equally. pXWL3
The employment of both partners and equal shared parenting in these dual-earner families are the main subject of a discussion caused by high rate of women’s labor force participation. Personally, I am convinced that families need dual- incomes and equalizing childcare, although I can see persuasive arguments opposing it. It is commonly believed that women tend to do household chores and bring up the children, while men make a living. However, the borders and features of differentiated roles of male and female in a family are becoming more and more unclear. It cannot be denied that traditional family pattern has many advantages for both women and children. Women can fully focus on motherhood and cover all emotional and phycological needs of kids, as men can focus on material. Although mothers spend more time with children, fathers can compensate lack of childcare on off-days or weekends, when mothers enjoy free-time. Moreover, Children's Guardian officers insist that staying of one parent at home can provide reliable healthcare and safety of kids, thus there is no need in babysitter and kindergarten. That means families are exempted from extra pay for kindergarten or any other children's centers. Nevertheless, I see some doubts in these arguments and find them unpersuasive. On the other hand, when it comes to balance and harmony in the family, mothers are overburdened by household chores and lion's share of childcare. There is no doubt, that one working parent has to work more and hard to provide whole family with material needs, in consequence, fathers are also under the stress. For two employed parents is less challenging to maintain their children financially, as incomes will be increased. Certainly, high quality education, better clothing or any other financial requirements which can be easily covered by dual incomes can make kids happy. Furthermore, both working parents bring more money with less work and stress for each one. And I suppose they will have more free time to be involved in family routine and share responsibilities as well as childcare. In regard to childcare, one unemployed parent at home cannot perfectly solve all children's problems. Psychologists claim, that for children roles of both parents are equally important and one parent cannot fill the lack of attention another's parent. Moreover, there is a difference between teenagers' behavior raised in dual- and one- earner families. Due to social experiment, juveniles raised in dual-income families with equal shared parenting, easier get alone with both female and male rather than children from one-working parent. Therefore, I am strongly convinced that both parents should work outside and take care of children equally. In conclusion, I have to agree to a certain extent, that both parents should maintain family financially and take equal care of children. They must find a happy medium to keep a balance between their work and family as children will be given enough love and care from each parent as well as material benefits.
The employment of both partners and equal shared parenting in these dual-earner
families
are the main subject of a discussion caused by high rate of
women’s
labor force participation.
Personally
, I
am convinced
that
families
need
dual- incomes and equalizing childcare, although I can
see
persuasive arguments opposing it. It is
commonly
believed that
women
tend to do household chores and bring up the
children
, while
men
make
a living.
However
, the borders and features of differentiated roles of male and female in a
family
are becoming more and more unclear. It cannot
be denied
that traditional
family
pattern has
many
advantages for both
women
and
children
.
Women
can
fully
focus on motherhood and cover all emotional and
phycological
needs
of kids, as
men
can focus on material. Although mothers spend more time with
children
, fathers can compensate lack of childcare on off-days or weekends, when mothers enjoy free-time.
Moreover
, Children's Guardian officers insist that staying of one
parent
at home can provide reliable healthcare and safety of kids,
thus
there is no
need
in babysitter and kindergarten. That means
families
are exempted
from extra pay for kindergarten or any other children's centers.
Nevertheless
, I
see
some
doubts in these arguments and find them unpersuasive.

On the other hand
, when it
comes
to balance and harmony in the
family
, mothers
are overburdened
by household chores and lion's share of childcare. There is no doubt, that one working
parent
has to
work
more and
hard
to provide whole
family
with material
needs
, in consequence, fathers are
also
under the
stress
. For two employed
parents
is less challenging to maintain their
children
financially
, as incomes will
be increased
.
Certainly
, high quality education, better clothing or any other financial requirements which can be
easily
covered by dual incomes can
make
kids happy.
Furthermore
, both working
parents
bring more money with less
work
and
stress
for each one. And I suppose they will have more free time to
be involved
in
family
routine and share responsibilities
as well
as childcare. In regard to childcare, one unemployed
parent
at home cannot
perfectly
solve all children's problems. Psychologists claim, that for
children
roles of both
parents
are
equally
important
and one
parent
cannot
fill the lack of
attention another's
parent
.
Moreover
, there is a difference between
teenagers
' behavior raised in dual- and one- earner
families
. Due to social experiment, juveniles raised in dual-income
families
with equal shared parenting, easier
get
alone with both female and male
rather
than
children
from one-working
parent
.
Therefore
, I am
strongly
convinced that both
parents
should
work
outside and take care of
children
equally
.

In conclusion
, I
have to
agree
to a certain extent, that both
parents
should maintain
family
financially
and take equal care of
children
. They
must
find a happy medium to
keep
a balance between their
work
and
family
as
children
will be
given
enough
love
and care from each
parent
as well
as material benefits.
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IELTS essay In a family, both men and women should be employed outside the home and share childcare equally.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
488 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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