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Imagine you need to improve your performance in order to get better grades or higher work payment which way would you choose 1 doing more extra work or assignments that are required2 participate more actively or contributing your own idea more frequentl

Imagine you need to improve your performance in order to get better grades or higher work payment which way would you choose 1 doing more extra work or assignments that are required2 participate more actively or contributing your own idea more frequentl XG30Y
In conclusion, I strongly feel that entering into discussions actively to contribute our ideas is preferable to doing extra work or assignments. This is because it helps us to show our talent and confidence and get attentions from professors or manager easily. In general, there is more than one method to improve one's performance. A real dilemma is whether extra work or being more active in discussions are more effective for students or workers. In my opinion, participating more actively is superior to doing more extra work. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, participating more actively or contributing your own ideas more frequently in group discussions provides you with a wonderful platform to show your talents and confidence, making a deep impression on students and professors or co-workers and supervisors. It is acknowledged that the outcome of your job is based on not only your assignment but also the process. My friend Mike's experience can demonstrate it. When he first began his career, he only knew how to finish the work assigned by the manager. As there is always a lot of work there waiting for him to complete, he seldom attended any discussions or dinner parties for the whole year. However, one day he realized that those who had done less work but participated more actively in the group were promoted and became his leader. From then on, he started to attend those meetings more frequently and sometimes conveyed his idea of rendering the work efficient. His creative ideas were soon spread over the company and were even heard by the boss who later invited him to the business process department as an advisor. Without expressing his own ideas actively during the discussion, he would not be taken seriously by seniors. Secondly, contributing your own idea is an effective way to get the manager's attention and display your strength. In general, managers are keen on those who are unique, playing an irreplaceable role in the group. In fact, everyone can do extra work, but distinct ideas can make you different from others. Managers may not know the origin of ab assignment, but they will know the author of a unique idea. For instance, I as well as some of my classmates recently assisted our professor to collect some data for the research about listed companies. The steps for the collection are really complicated including opening websites, downloading files and locating information on a specific page. Some finished finding data for about 100 companies, Some ended up even more. As for me, I found a website which involves all the required data in just one file, saving a large amount of time following all steps. I finally got a really high grade because I shared it with our professor and all my classmates. I'am sure that the professor would not have been aware of me even though I collected extra data in short period of time. This example demonstrates how effective a unique idea can be. In conclusion, I strongly feel that entering into discussions actively to contribute our ideas is preferable to doing extra work or assignments. This is because it helps us to show our talent and confidence and get attention from professors or managers easily.
In conclusion
, I
strongly
feel that entering into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discussions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actively
to contribute our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
is preferable to doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assignments
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
our talent and confidence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attentions from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
easily
.

In general
, there is more than one method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one's performance. A real dilemma is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or being more active in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discussions
are more effective for students or workers. In my opinion, participating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actively
is superior to doing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, participating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actively
or contributing your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
more
frequently
in group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discussions
provides you with a wonderful platform to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
your talents and confidence, making a deep impression on students and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
or co-workers and supervisors. It
is acknowledged
that the outcome of your job
is based
on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assignment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the process. My friend Mike's experience can demonstrate it. When he
first
began his career, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
knew how to finish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
assigned by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
. As there is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
there waiting for him to complete, he seldom attended any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discussions
or dinner parties for the whole year.
However
, one day he realized that those who had done less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
participated more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actively
in the group
were promoted
and became his leader. From then on, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to attend those meetings more
frequently
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
conveyed his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
of rendering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficient. His creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
spread over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and were even heard by the boss who later invited him to the business process department as an advisor. Without expressing his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actively
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discussion
, he would not
be taken
seriously
by seniors.

Secondly
, contributing your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
is an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the manager's attention and display your strength.
In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
are keen on those who are unique, playing an irreplaceable role in the group. In fact, everyone can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Managers
may not know the origin of ab
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assignment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will know the author of a unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
.
For instance
, I
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my classmates recently assisted our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
to collect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
for the research about listed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. The steps for the collection are
really
complicated including opening websites, downloading files and locating information on a specific page.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
finished finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
for about 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
ended up even more. As for me, I found a website which involves all the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one file, saving a large amount of time following all steps. I
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
really
high grade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I shared it with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
and all my classmates. I'am sure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
would not have been aware of me
even though
I collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
in short period of time. This example demonstrates how effective a unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
can be.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
feel that entering into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discussions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actively
to contribute our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
is preferable to doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assignments
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
our talent and confidence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
easily
.
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IELTS essay Imagine you need to improve your performance in order to get better grades or higher work payment which way would you choose 1 doing more extra work or assignments that are required2 participate more actively or contributing your own idea more frequentl

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
550 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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