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If you could travel back in time to meet a historical person, who would you visit?Use specific reasons and details to support your answer

If you could travel back in time to meet a historical person, who would you visit? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer XG3qq
Time trave has been one of the most fancy dream of mine. Being a history buff I have always wondered what it must have been to live in a world without the leisure of technlogy that we enjoy today. Where people still used to walk miles because automobiles were limited to just the elite section of the society. Where portable mobile phones were unheard of. Television had just made debut in some of the Western countries and Russia. And yet, during this period human have achieved marvelous feats in eld of sicence, technology and astronomy I have always been fascinated with space and galaxy. As a child I always had a dream to go in spacce one day. If given a chance I would denitely love to travel back in time to Russia to meet the rst man in space - Yuri Gagarin. His story is no less than phenomena! Coming from such a humble background he achieved to become not just a national hero but his name to be written in history eternally! I would love to interview him on the hardships he faced during his training, which not to forget was kept secret even from his family. How he managed to venture into something where there was possibility of 99 things out of 100 going wrong. And here, things going wrong meant him dying. Inspite of no professional training of a pilot, he managed to pilot the space shuttle and successfully make a touchdown back on Earth! I have read his biography to know that things were not easy at his home and village after such a successful feat, for his villagers were scared that the God will surely punish him for doing something which they call it inhuman. Although he was being discouraged by his family yo continue his work as cosmonaut, his love and loyalty for his country back then was more than his family's concern. His successful voyage sure put a lot of pressure on the America who was in constant competition with Russia in the eld of astronomy. The reason why I would love to meet Yuri Gagarin is purely for the courage and determination he have shown that made him so famous. I still remember him saying to his brother after his voyage - humans are mortal but my name has become immortal!
Time
Possible spelling mistake found.
trave
has been one of the most fancy dream of mine. Being a history buff I have always wondered what it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have been to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world without the leisure of
Possible spelling mistake found.
technlogy
that we enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to walk miles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
automobiles
were limited
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the elite section of the society.
“Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
portable mobile phones were unheard of. Television had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
made debut in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
Western countries and Russia. And
yet
, during this period human have achieved marvelous feats in
Possible spelling mistake found.
eld
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sicence
, technology and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
astronomy


I have always
been fascinated
with space and galaxy.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a child I always had a dream to go in
Possible spelling mistake found.
spacce
one day. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance I would
Possible spelling mistake found.
denitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to travel back in time to Russia to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
rst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in space
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Yuri Gagarin. His story is no less than phenomena! Coming from such a humble background he achieved to become not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a national hero
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his name to
be written
in history
eternally
! I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to interview him on the hardships he faced during his training, which not to forget was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
secret even from his family. How he managed to venture into something where there was possibility of 99 things out of 100 going
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. And here, things going
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
meant him dying.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
of no professional training of a pilot, he managed to pilot the space shuttle and
successfully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a touchdown back on Earth! I have read his biography to know that things were not easy at his home and village after such a successful feat, for his villagers
were scared
that the God will
surely
punish him for doing something which they call it inhuman. Although he was
being discouraged
by his family
Did you mean "to", "you" or "your"?
yo
continue his work as cosmonaut, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and loyalty for his country back then was more than his family's concern. His successful voyage sure put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure on the America who was in constant competition with Russia in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
eld
of astronomy.

The reason why I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
Yuri Gagarin is
purely
for the courage and determination he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
shown that made him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. I
still
remember him saying to his brother after his voyage
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
humans are mortal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my name has become immortal!

IELTS essay If you could travel back in time to meet a historical person, who would you visit? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
390 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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