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Hungry proplem despite the advances for agriculture

Hungry proplem despite the advances for agriculture KM9N
All over countries, there are developed and developing countries, they are differ in many aspects such as: education level, awareness, health care, etc. All of these aspects affect the poverty of the country. Governements are trying to put ideas and plans to face hungery and decrease the number of poor. Starting with the agricultured area because we all depend upon it to be feed directly as seeds, fruits and vegetables or indirectly as ingredient of some industrial production. They improve the ways of irrigation, put polices to the buildings so not to be build within the green area. It is expected that these efforts result in compensate the need of citizens while in fact they don't able to present the ideal solution. This is may be due to number of factors, the populotion of each countries is the main one as they may use more than produced, availabilty of food for all not rich people only declining the others, the supply of water or money to provide the farmers for their land, and so on. So I think to solve this situation, co-operation between countries are needed to help with money and other equipments as that are happened nowadays between America and Africa, increase the awarenees of peaple to preserve their land from polution or buildings like range of current programs in diffrent cities, increase the justice for all citizens to all live in peace. We need to help each other to protect our planet and to rescue poor brothers.
All over
countries
, there
are developed
and developing
countries
, they are
differ
in
many
aspects such as: education level, awareness, health care, etc. All of these aspects affect the poverty of the
country
.
Governements
are trying to put
ideas
and plans to face
hungery
and decrease the number of poor. Starting with the
agricultured
area
because
we all depend upon it to
be feed
directly
as seeds, fruits and vegetables or
indirectly
as ingredient of
some
industrial production. They
improve
the ways of irrigation, put polices to the buildings
so
not to be build within the green area. It is
expected
that these efforts result in compensate the need of citizens while in fact they don't able to present the ideal solution.

This is may be due to number of factors, the
populotion
of each
countries
is the main one as they may
use
more than produced,
availabilty
of food for all not rich
people
only
declining the others, the supply of water or money to provide the farmers for their land, and
so
on.

So
I
think
to solve this situation, co-operation between
countries
are needed
to
help
with money and other equipments as that
are happened
nowadays between America and Africa, increase the
awarenees
of
peaple
to preserve their land from
polution
or buildings like range of
current
programs in
diffrent
cities, increase the justice for all citizens to all
live
in peace. We need to
help
each other to protect our planet and to rescue poor brothers.
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IELTS essay Hungry proplem despite the advances for agriculture

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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