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How we treat animals and protect them

How we treat animals and protect them MBLLN
It is essential that we take care of the animals it is morally wrong for human beings to be cruel to animals, and morally good for human beings to be kind to animals. Human beings and animals always had an important relationship animals can be some of our best friends they can be loyal to us, love us. And serve us moreover they can also defend and die for us Given that animals are creatures that have a soul, body and senses And just like humans, God created them, we must respect them and take good care of them Animals should be treated in the way that is best for the animals concerned - which may not be the way that suits human beings And we must never forget that animals also have the right to live In case of bad weather, think about them and provide them with food and shelter We should be grateful to them and we must not harass them for our selfish purposes. We have not to beat them to perform the tricks for circus. We should not overload them for transportation  or kill them for our needs. The hunters should not hunt them. In zoo, the animals should be looked after well  The visitors also should not tease or harass them. in these way we can treat and protect animals without hurt them.
It is essential that we take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
it is
morally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings to be cruel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, and
morally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings to be kind to animals.

Human beings and
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animals
always had an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
relationship
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animals
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our best friends they can be loyal to us,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
us. And serve us
moreover
they can
also
defend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
for us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are creatures that have a soul, body and senses And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, God created them, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
respect them and take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
should
be treated
in the way
that is
best for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
concerned
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
which may not be the way that suits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings And we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
never forget that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
also
have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
In case of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about them and provide them with food and shelter We should be grateful to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not harass them for our selfish purposes. We have not to beat them to perform the tricks for circus. We should not overload them for transportation
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
or kill them for our needs. The hunters should not hunt them. In zoo, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be looked
after well
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
The visitors
also
should not tease or harass them.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Did you mean "this way" or "these ways"?
these way
we can treat and protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
without hurt them.
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IELTS essay How we treat animals and protect them

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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