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How war effect on my life ??

How war effect on my life ?? jKoa
I remembered before five years when I moved to the capital city to study English in the institute. I lived with my brother and the rest of my family wasn’t with me. I couldn’t adapt to live there. In addition, people there were different and their cultures also different. Furthermore, living without my family was extremely hard. So, I had tried to create a special environment to be able to study perfectly. After I finished two courses, the city had become a mess, and the situation changed upside down. A group of people who did all this mess, a sudden change in the system of government by the emergence of a power that violates the constitutional laws, they called AL-Houthe. The gulf states intervened militarily and everything was stopped such as schools, institutes, working, and I realized that I wouldn’t be able to finish studying. Moreover, they attacked my city with heavy weapons because they didn’t support them. So my family moved to another city except my father because If he traveled with them, Al- Houthe would opponent him. I was so scared for my dad. After one year, I decided to travel to see my father but when I got there I felt like I was in a ghost town. It was rare to see someone there no relatives, no friends, no one you could spend your time with. Also, the building was destroyed, and everything was changed. Fear controlled me especially when I heard Shells and I felt as I would be lost my father. As a result, I become quiet and I didn't want to sit with anyone except my close people. My personality was changed one hundred percent. After one year, I tried to ignore my fear and I decided to adapt and live in this miserable city. Therefore, I tried to volunteer in teaching students who returned. To sum up, sometimes, difficult times push me down and I feel depressive. However, the truth is that those times have improved me and thought me tough lessons. When I look back, I realized how those difficulties time have transformed me into what I am today. If I haven’t through the rough time, I will never learn responsible, patient, and the ability to ignore the sound of bombs today.
I remembered
before
five years when I
moved
to the capital city to study English in the institute. I
lived
with my brother and the rest of my family wasn’t with me.
I
couldn’t adapt to
live
there.
In addition
,
people
there were
different
and their cultures
also
different
.
Furthermore
, living without my family was
extremely
hard
.
So
, I had tried to create a special environment to be able to study
perfectly
. After I finished two courses, the city had become a mess, and the situation
changed
upside down. A group of
people
who did all this mess, a sudden
change
in the system of
government
by the emergence of a power that violates the constitutional laws, they called
AL-Houthe
. The gulf states intervened
militarily
and everything was
stopped
such as schools, institutes, working, and I realized that I wouldn’t be able to finish studying.
Moreover
, they attacked my city with heavy weapons
because
they didn’t support them.
So
my family
moved
to another city except my father
because
If he traveled with them, Al-
Houthe
would opponent him. I was
so
scared for my dad. After one year, I decided to travel to
see
my father
but
when I
got
there I felt like I was in a ghost town. It was rare to
see
someone there no relatives, no friends, no one you could spend your
time
with.
Also
, the building was
destroyed
, and everything was
changed
. Fear controlled me
especially
when I heard Shells and I felt as I would
be lost
my father.
As a result
, I become quiet and I didn't want to sit with anyone except my close
people
. My personality was
changed
one hundred percent. After one year, I tried to
ignore
my fear and I decided to adapt and
live
in this miserable city.
Therefore
, I tried to volunteer in teaching students who returned. To sum up,
sometimes
, difficult
times
push me down and I feel depressive.
However
, the truth is that those
times
have
improved
me and
thought
me tough lessons. When I look back, I realized how those difficulties
time
have transformed me into what I am
today
. If I haven’t through the rough
time
, I will never learn responsible, patient, and the ability to
ignore
the sound of bombs
today
.
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IELTS essay How war effect on my life ??

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
381 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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