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How war effect on my life ??

How war effect on my life ?? jKoa
I remembered before five years when I moved to the capital city to study English in the institute. I lived with my brother and the rest of my family wasn’t with me. I couldn’t adapt to live there. In addition, people there were different and their cultures also different. Furthermore, living without my family was extremely hard. So, I had tried to create a special environment to be able to study perfectly. After I finished two courses, the city had become a mess, and the situation changed upside down. A group of people who did all this mess, a sudden change in the system of government by the emergence of a power that violates the constitutional laws, they called AL-Houthe. The gulf states intervened militarily and everything was stopped such as schools, institutes, working, and I realized that I wouldn’t be able to finish studying. Moreover, they attacked my city with heavy weapons because they didn’t support them. So my family moved to another city except my father because If he traveled with them, Al- Houthe would opponent him. I was so scared for my dad. After one year, I decided to travel to see my father but when I got there I felt like I was in a ghost town. It was rare to see someone there no relatives, no friends, no one you could spend your time with. Also, the building was destroyed, and everything was changed. Fear controlled me especially when I heard Shells and I felt as I would be lost my father. As a result, I become quiet and I didn't want to sit with anyone except my close people. My personality was changed one hundred percent. After one year, I tried to ignore my fear and I decided to adapt and live in this miserable city. Therefore, I tried to volunteer in teaching students who returned. To sum up, sometimes, difficult times push me down and I feel depressive. However, the truth is that those times have improved me and thought me tough lessons. When I look back, I realized how those difficulties time have transformed me into what I am today. If I haven’t through the rough time, I will never learn responsible, patient, and the ability to ignore the sound of bombs today.
I remembered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
five years when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the capital city to study English in the institute. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with my brother and the rest of my family wasn’t with me.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
couldn’t adapt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and their cultures
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
Furthermore
, living without my family was
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I had tried to create a special environment to be able to study
perfectly
. After I finished two courses, the city had become a mess, and the situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
upside down. A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who did all this mess, a sudden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the system of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by the emergence of a power that violates the constitutional laws, they called
Possible spelling mistake found.
AL-Houthe
. The gulf states intervened
militarily
and everything was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
such as schools, institutes, working, and I realized that I wouldn’t be able to finish studying.
Moreover
, they attacked my city with heavy weapons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they didn’t support them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
my family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to another city except my father
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
If he traveled with them, Al-
Possible spelling mistake found.
Houthe
would opponent him. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
scared for my dad. After one year, I decided to travel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my father
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
there I felt like I was in a ghost town. It was rare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
someone there no relatives, no friends, no one you could spend your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with.
Also
, the building was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
, and everything was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Fear controlled me
especially
when I heard Shells and I felt as I would
be lost
my father.
As a result
, I become quiet and I didn't want to sit with anyone except my close
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. My personality was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
one hundred percent. After one year, I tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
my fear and I decided to adapt and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this miserable city.
Therefore
, I tried to volunteer in teaching students who returned. To sum up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
push me down and I feel depressive.
However
, the truth is that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
me tough lessons. When I look back, I realized how those difficulties
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
have transformed me into what I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. If I haven’t through the rough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I will never learn responsible, patient, and the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the sound of bombs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
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IELTS essay How war effect on my life ??

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
381 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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