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high income of famous persons

high income of famous persons G9Qde
When we want to talk about the high income of famous persons in a society, we must first of all consider the economic situation of the society in which those people are famous. It is true that it is not possible for a simple worker to receive a salary as much as an entrepreneurial, creative and well known engineer, or it is unreasonable for a nurse assistant to be paid the same as a famous surgeon, but this difference in income level can be exorbitant and Create severe financial and cultural class divisions that reduce the progress of the whole society. In advanced economic societies, high taxes on high incomes prevent this class gap. But in backward societies, wealth gives celebrities the power to stand up to the law and evade taxes, which in turn leads to economic corruption. I strongly agree with the high income of celebrities as long as the economic laws in that society are properly defined and enforced. Because reducing the income level of celebrities reduces the motivation in the individual development of person in a society, which reduces the progress in the whole society. In my opinion, this is almost what caused the Soviet economic collapse in 1991. Talented people with special and famous characteristics should have the right to live and buy and use expensive houses and cars at a better level than the general public. For example, Mr. Ilan Musk, owner of the Tesla and Space-X brands with a wealth of about 151 billion $, did not pay his income tax in full in year 2018, which was made public by the US media and the court ordered him to pay the full tax. But in our country, Iran, although taxes are reduced before employees are paid, doctors who generally have higher incomes are not willing to use POS machines to manipulate income and evade taxes. Or gold sellers, in addition to selling gold, collect taxes from the buyer but are not willing to pay their taxes to the government. If the rules are properly regulated and enforced in a society, the difference in income levels for celebrities and well knows will be the biggest factor in its individual growth and consequently the development of the whole society.
When we want to talk about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
persons in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
situation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in which those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.

It is true that it is not possible for a simple worker to receive a salary as much as an entrepreneurial, creative and well known engineer, or it is unreasonable for a nurse assistant to
be paid
the same as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
surgeon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
can be exorbitant and Create severe financial and cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
divisions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the progress of the whole society.

In advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
gap.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
, wealth gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
the power to stand up to the law and evade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, which in turn leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
corruption.

I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
as long as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
laws in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are
properly
defined and enforced.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the motivation in the individual development of person in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the progress in the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In my opinion, this is almost what caused the Soviet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
collapse in 1991. Talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with special and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
characteristics should have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
expensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and cars at a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
than the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

For example
, Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ilan
Musk, owner of the Tesla and Space-X brands with a wealth of about 151 billion $, did not pay his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
in full in year 2018, which
was made
public by the US media and the court ordered him to pay the full tax.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in our country, Iran, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
employees
are paid
, doctors who
generally
have higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
are not willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
POS machines to manipulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and evade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. Or gold sellers,
in addition
to selling gold, collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
from the buyer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are not willing to pay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are
properly
regulated and enforced in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, the difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and well knows will be the biggest factor in its individual growth and
consequently
the development of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay high income of famous persons

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
375 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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