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health , fitness and its importance

health , fitness and its importance LbXMR
Health status is diminishing in many countries. Fitness, and sports are so related to each others to bring a person a healthy life. In many countries, obesity, and overweight rates are increasing in an uncontrollable way, there are many causes, solutions to this overwhelming problem. There are many causes behind the increase in the average weight. People tends to eat more when they are subjected to a high level of stress, they relieve their misery in eating foods they enjoy to just gain a short period of satisfaction. Moreover, restaurants, are incredibly increasing all over the world, furthermore various variety of food are found in each, and every country these days, which make people more susceptible to obesity. Moreover, advertisements are making food more popular, and picturing it in a delicious way to attract people's eyes. On the same side, there are many measures to solve this overwhelming trend. More awareness campaigns must be made to help people understand the risks that obesity put our lives in. Gyms, and sport facilities must be more supported, and must be afforded by all people. More healthy food must be offered in restaurants, for lower prices, furthermore application which deliver healthy foods must be enhanced, and delivering for all people. Health is the main pillar of life, you must keep and eye on your health, because it the most expensive thing God offered us. Although the tremendous amount of causes leading to overweight, for every cause there is a facing solution.
Health status is diminishing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Fitness, and sports are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
related to each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
to bring a person a healthy life. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, obesity, and overweight rates are increasing
Consider replacing "in an uncontrollable way" with the adverb for "uncontrollable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an uncontrollable way
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
, solutions to this overwhelming problem.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
behind the increase in the average weight.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
tends
to eat more when they
are subjected
to a high level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, they relieve their misery in eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
they enjoy to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
gain a short period of satisfaction.
Moreover
, restaurants, are
incredibly
increasing all over the world,
furthermore
various variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are found
in each, and every country these days, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more susceptible to obesity.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Moreover
, advertisements are making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more popular, and picturing it
Consider replacing "in a delicious way" with the adverb for "delicious"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a delicious way
to attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's eyes.

On the same side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
measures to solve this overwhelming trend. More awareness campaigns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
that obesity put our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in. Gyms, and sport facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be more supported, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be afforded
by all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. More healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be offered
in restaurants, for lower prices,
furthermore
application which deliver healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be enhanced
, and delivering for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Health is the main pillar of life, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
and eye on your health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it the most expensive thing God offered us. Although the tremendous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
leading to overweight, for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
there is a facing solution.
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IELTS essay health , fitness and its importance

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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