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Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health.However, people are walking less nowadays.Why is this happening?How can people be encouraged to walk more?

Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health. However, people are walking less nowadays. Why is this happening? How can people be encouraged to walk more? jwPp
Doctors suggest that the benefits of walking are unbelievable, along it helps to maintain body fitness. Whereas, humans are avoiding walking in today's fast pace life. In this essay, I will discuss what is the difficulty people are facing and the solution for their concerns. One main reason not to walk is lack of time to spend on inappropriate activities. Modern development had been giving substitutes, stroll has been replaced by modern transportation. It also gives convenience to travelers. Many individuals tend to walk less and do a desk job, In the current covid pandemic new concept has been introduced called work from home. People find it unusual to go out of their respective houses, children play a video games rather than playing outdoor games. Furthermore, In the past people prefer going outside early in the morning to buying fresh vegetables and fruits physically, today this grocery can be at home without stepping out of the door with the help of e-commerce services. To solve these issues doctor and the government can play important role in overcoming this problem. Government can allocate funds to build parks and green zone, Where people can find a good natural atmosphere. To illustrate, In many urban areas groups of families come to park in the morning to inhale fresh air and start their day with a small walk along with exercise. Park attracts children's attention because there they find many adventure games, they also make new friends. The second thing to do to cope up with this problem is to make aware country residents about the well-being and long term benefits of strolling. To sum up, walking is the medicine humans can not purchase it has an uncountable good effect on health. The cause can be solved by constructing a park and doing our small task by walking.
Doctors suggest that the benefits of walking are unbelievable, along it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to maintain body fitness.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, humans are avoiding walking in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace life. In this essay, I will discuss what is the difficulty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing and the solution for their concerns.

One main reason not to walk is lack of time to spend on inappropriate activities. Modern development had been giving substitutes, stroll has
been replaced
by modern transportation. It
also
gives convenience to travelers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals tend to walk less and do a desk job, In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
pandemic new concept has
been introduced
called work from home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
find it unusual to go out of their respective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, children play a video games
rather
than playing outdoor games.
Furthermore
, In the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer going outside early in the morning to buying fresh vegetables and fruits
physically
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
this grocery can be at home without stepping out of the door with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of e-commerce

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
services
.

To solve these issues doctor and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in overcoming this problem.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can allocate funds to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and green zone, Where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
natural atmosphere. To illustrate, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
urban areas groups of families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
in the morning to inhale fresh air and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their day with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
walk along with exercise.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
attracts children's attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there they find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adventure games, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends. The second thing to do to cope up with this problem is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
aware country residents about the well-being and long term benefits of strolling.

To sum up, walking is the medicine humans can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it has an uncountable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect on health. The cause can
be solved
by constructing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and doing our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
task by walking.
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IELTS essay Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health. However, people are walking less nowadays. Why is this happening? How can people be encouraged to walk more?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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