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GOVERNMENTS SHOULD SPEND TAXPAYERS ON CULTURE ,MUSIC AND VIDEO

GOVERNMENTS SHOULD SPEND TAXPAYERS ON CULTURE, MUSIC AND VIDEO 8P6P
The vast majority of people think that governments is earning too much through the tax. All people are paying tax around 15% from their income. Governments should look around over their country what is must to keep long their country culture. In my opinion, governments should look their country wee-being and also spend money on those places what are essential first. Firstly, city council should do one tour every week in traditional places, like, museum, historical book shop. Also, every musician should sing the music on historical purposes. Therefore, our half population will listen and automatically connect with our culture beliefs. Governments should set up concerts in every city and some meaningful speech too. For example, In India, prime minister went every month in historical place and publish news on every newspaper. However, There are immense work left in different places, like, installing lights on roads, water purify tank specially in rural places. Governments should connect with their agents, what are important in this critical time. Moreover, education is must for all kids, so, this will better choice, if governments will concentrate on these fields instead of making music, video on culture. Theses already are build after spending huge money. Governments should pay money in schools, so, teachers can help them to know about culture. In a conclusion, every coin has a two sides. Money would be spend on only development of country, how everyone can feel, they are living in safe and perfect country. Governments should not spend money on recreational activities, thus, should expand more jobs options and facilities too.
The vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
is earning too much through the tax. All
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are paying tax around 15% from their income.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should look around over their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
what is
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
long their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
culture. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should look their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
wee-being and
also
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
what are essential
first
.

Firstly
, city council should do one tour every week in traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, like, museum, historical book shop.
Also
, every musician should sing the music on historical purposes.
Therefore
, our half population will listen and
automatically
connect with our culture beliefs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should set up concerts in every city and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meaningful speech too.
For example
, In India, prime minister went every month in historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and publish news on every newspaper.

However
, There are immense work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, like, installing lights on roads, water purify tank
specially
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should connect with their agents, what are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in this critical time.
Moreover
, education is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for all kids,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, this will better choice, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
will concentrate on these fields
instead
of making music, video on culture. Theses already are build after spending huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in schools,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, teachers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to know about culture.

In a conclusion, every coin has a two sides.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
would be
Consider using the past participle "spent"?
spend
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, how everyone can feel, they are living in safe and perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on recreational activities,
thus
, should expand more jobs options and facilities too.
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IELTS essay GOVERNMENTS SHOULD SPEND TAXPAYERS ON CULTURE, MUSIC AND VIDEO

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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