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Government pays tuition for university students. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Government pays tuition for university students. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? 2lMxw
People have different views about what university students usually receive financial support for their tuition free from the government. While there are some benefits, I would argue that it has more drawbacks. On the one hand, the considerable investments of the government in free tuition higher education can be some benefits. Firstly, the financial burden of students may be reduced as they do not have to pay for their education tuition. Therefore, they can save money to spend on other living expenses such as food, accommodation and transportation. If students have to pay for their education, they would need to find a job to earn money. This may have negative effects on their studies. Secondly, because free education may attract a large number of students to participate in college, they could be easier to approach after highschool which provides knowledge and necessary skills. This helps them have a job, which contributes to reducing crime rate and poverty. On the other hand, I believe that the potential drawbacks of free education are more significant. Due to investment in free education, the government would have insufficient funds to invest in other important factors. Take medicine as an example. nowaday, because the country is facing a COVID-19 pandemic. If the government does not have to pay for education, it could invest in different sectors. Besides, because students are provided for free education, they could completely rely on those benefits. This leads to them becoming lazy and lacking motivation to study. If students have to pay for their college tuition, they would value education more. In conclusion, while studying university for free has several advantages, I strongly believe that not investing in free education is a better option.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about what university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
usually
receive financial support for their tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, I would argue that it has more drawbacks.

On the one hand, the considerable investments of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
tuition higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
Firstly
, the financial burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
tuition.
Therefore
, they can save money to spend on other living expenses such as food, accommodation and transportation. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they would need to find a job to earn money. This may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on their studies.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may attract
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to participate in college, they could be easier to approach after
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschool
which provides knowledge and necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them have a job, which contributes to reducing crime rate and poverty.

On the other hand
, I believe that the potential drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are more significant. Due to investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would have insufficient funds to invest in other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors. Take medicine as an example.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowaday
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the country is facing a COVID-19 pandemic. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, it could invest in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are provided
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they could completely rely on those benefits. This leads to them becoming lazy and lacking motivation to study. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for their college tuition, they would value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
more.

In conclusion
, while studying university for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
has several advantages, I
strongly
believe that not investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a better option.
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IELTS essay Government pays tuition for university students. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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