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giving freedom to children is more than earlier. does it have an advantage or disadvantage

giving freedom to children is more than earlier. does it have an advantage or disadvantage r8kMk
freedom is mean by someone can do whatever they want in their life but they do not against the law. Nowadays many parents do not trust their own children and some of them take action by controlling their children life and also their activities. this is not the best way for children because it may feel stress and it may lead to do crimes. so today children should give freedom for their own enjoyment. Fristly children should be given freedom to make their own decision in what they want to do in their life by this way they can know how to manage their outside life and they can learn how to solve any problems in future life. every child has their unique talents and they always want to be the best. For example children can make their own decision to choose their course in university instead of parents decision by that time only they know their ability. in addition children should not against law by that time parent punished their children. for me parents can control their own child but cannot treat them as they do not know anything. just give them chance to go along with their life and hobbies By concluding children need their own freedom to make their own decision do what they want and even choose their own friends. so children happy in what they do they will succeed in life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
freedom
is mean by someone can do whatever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not against the law. Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not trust their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them take action by controlling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
also
their activities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is not the best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and it may lead to do crimes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
enjoyment.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Fristly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
in what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by this way they can know how to manage their outside
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they can learn how to solve any problems in future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
every
child has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
unique
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talents and
they always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be the best.
For example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
to choose their course in university
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by that time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they know their ability.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not against law by that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
punished their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can control their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot treat them as they do not know anything.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
just
give them chance to go along with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
hobbies


By concluding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
do what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
and even choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
friends.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
happy in what they do they will succeed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.

IELTS essay giving freedom to children is more than earlier. does it have an advantage or disadvantage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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