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Give me some opinion on the transportation in your city?

In my opinion, one of the biggest problems of transportation is traffic jams in Anyang city. It has become common to see passengers and drivers having to wait in long lines of buses and cars moving at a snail's pace on the streets during the rush hours. There are several reasons for this problem. First, the number of vehicles is increasing much more rapidly than the building of roads. Second, there seem to be too many private cars and not enough public buses. Third, many people, including drivers, pedestrians and cyclists do not obey traffic rules properly, especially at busy intersections. In my opinion, one of the biggest problems of transportation is traffic jams in Anyang city. In view of the seriousness of this problem, effective measures must be taken before things get worse. On the one hand, the government should invest more money in the building of new roads and the repairing and maintenance of old ones, particularly those in busy areas of the cities. On the other hand, the number of private cars in urban areas should be limited while the number of public buses should be increased. At the same time, it is essential that stricter traffic rules and regulations be issued to strengthen traffic control.
In my opinion, one of the biggest
problems
of transportation is
traffic
jams in
Anyang
city. It has become common to
see
passengers and drivers having to wait in long lines of buses and cars moving at a snail's pace on the streets during the rush hours. There are several reasons for this
problem
.
First
, the number of vehicles is increasing much more
rapidly
than the building of roads. Second, there seem to be too
many
private cars and not
enough
public buses. Third,
many
people
, including drivers, pedestrians and cyclists do not obey
traffic
rules
properly
,
especially
at busy intersections.

In my opinion, one of the biggest
problems
of transportation is
traffic
jams in
Anyang
city. In view of the seriousness of this
problem
, effective measures
must
be taken
before
things
get
worse. On the one hand, the
government
should invest more money in the building of new roads and the repairing and maintenance of
old
ones,
particularly
those in busy areas of the cities.
On the other hand
, the number of private cars in urban areas should
be limited
while the number of public buses should
be increased
. At the same time, it is essential that stricter
traffic
rules
and regulations
be issued
to strengthen
traffic
control.
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IELTS essay Give me some opinion on the transportation in your city?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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