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Future of Study and Career Plans

Introduction In this report, our goals are to analyse the data of the future career paths of the Samsenwittayalai School’s Mathayom six students in Mathematics-Science program, ranging from class one to class eight, class fourteen, and class fifteen. The information that gathered included eighty-four students, thirty-six of them are male and forty-eight of them are female, which are separated from curriculums. Which subject does student tend to choose? The first question is about ‘What is the most subject that students chose in a university? ’. From the information we got, nine-teens students or twenty-two point two percent of the students choose science. Seventeen of them, twenty point two percent, chose engineering. Thirteens of them, fifteen point five percent, chose architectural. Twelve of them(fourteen point three percent) chose the medicine and another twelve chose languages. In addition to that, the other seven and four students choose to study history-geography and Law respectively. What job would they like to have when they finish? In the second question, we asked about the career path that they wish to have when they finish university. From our poll, we have created many options to be chosen from, for example, applied science, liberal art, journalism, and so on. The result shows that a lot of them chose engineering, which represented fifteen people from eighty-four students (or seventeen point nine percent). The second rank is followed by medical science which is fifteen point five percent or thirteen students. The other sixty-six point six percent of students selected the other various career paths. Conclusions Altogether, we can see that most of Samsenwittayalai School’s Mathayom six students in Mathematics-Science program, tend to study mostly around the field of science and engineering in university, it might correspond to the educational curriculum from high school that lead those students to be more adaptive to these fields rather than languages, art, law, and culture. By this way, the career path of them is more likely to end up with jobs in the field of science and engineering.
Introduction

In this report, our goals are to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘analyse’ is British English.
analyse
the data of the future
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career
paths of the
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Samsenwittayalai
School’s
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Mathayom
six
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students
in Mathematics-Science program, ranging from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
eight,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
fourteen, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
fifteen. The information that gathered included eighty-four
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students
, thirty-six of them are male and forty-eight of them are female, which
are separated
from curriculums.

Which subject does
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student
tend to choose?

The
first
question is about ‘What is the most subject that
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students
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chose
in a university? ’. From the information we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
, nine-teens
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students
or twenty-two
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point
two
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percent
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose
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science
. Seventeen of them, twenty
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point
two
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percent
,
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chose
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engineering
. Thirteens of them, fifteen
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point
five
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percent
,
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chose
architectural. Twelve of them(fourteen
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point
three
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percent)
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chose
the medicine and another twelve
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chose
languages.
In addition
to that, the other seven and four
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students
choose to study history-geography and Law
respectively
.

What job would they like to have when they finish?

In the second question, we asked about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path that they wish to have when they finish university. From our poll, we have created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options to
be chosen
from,
for example
, applied
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science
, liberal art, journalism, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. The result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
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a lot of
them
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chose
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engineering
, which represented fifteen
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people
from eighty-four
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students
(or seventeen
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point
nine
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percent)
. The second rank
is followed
by medical
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science
which is fifteen
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point
five
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percent
or thirteen
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students
. The other sixty-six
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point
six
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percent
of
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students
selected the other various
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career
paths.

Conclusions

Altogether, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that most of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Samsenwittayalai
School’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mathayom
six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Mathematics-Science program, tend to study
mostly
around the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
in university, it might correspond to the educational curriculum from high school that lead those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more adaptive to these fields
rather
than languages, art, law, and culture. By this way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path of them is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with jobs in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
.
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IELTS essay Future of Study and Career Plans

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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