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From the perspective of a number of folks, giving permission to their kids to make their own choices may bring about selfishness in the society, while others think making a decision for personal issues is vitally crucial for the future of the children lives in the community

From the perspective of a number of folks, giving permission to their kids to make their own choices may bring about selfishness in the society, while others think making a decision for personal issues is vitally crucial for the future of the children lives in the community DlpGW
From the perspective of a number of folks, giving permission to their kids to make their own choices may bring about selfishness in the society, while others think making a decision for personal issues is vitally crucial for the future of the children lives in the community. I firmly believe that children who make decisions for their lives alone are more useful for society. To begin with, although parents should have control over their youngsters at every stage of their lives, they better do not involve themselves in their personal affairs. In other words, if the kid cannot be free to decide what they want, they will lose their personality and do not know what to do, let alone being egocentric. Introverted teenagers, for instance, should not be over-protected, but also they better be free to make their own determination to believe they are valuable in society. On the other hand, it can also be argued that, if young persons have the ability to decide about their matters which have a negative or positive result in their lives, it is undeniable that they can play a vital role in the future of associations and also fulfill their obligations beneficially. However, juveniles will always need help from older people in order to make the right choices; so, parents in this way are always a contributing factor in their children's resolutions. To conclude, due to the facts mentioned, I am of the opinion that ultimately, let young generation by their own not only make them a self-made person but also they will highly likely to be more generous and do not only think about their ambitions.
From the perspective of a number of folks, giving permission to their kids to
make
their
own
choices may bring about selfishness in the society, while others
think
making a decision for personal issues is
vitally
crucial for the future of the children
lives
in the community. I
firmly
believe that children who
make
decisions for their
lives
alone are more useful for society.

To
begin
with, although parents should have control over their youngsters at every stage of their
lives
, they better do not involve themselves in their personal affairs.
In other words
, if the kid cannot be free to decide what they want, they will lose their personality and do not know what to do,
let
alone being egocentric. Introverted
teenagers
,
for instance
, should not be over-protected,
but
also
they better be free to
make
their
own
determination to believe they are valuable in society.

On the other hand
, it can
also
be argued
that, if young persons have the ability to decide about their matters which have a
negative
or
positive
result in their
lives
, it is undeniable that they can play a vital role in the future of associations and
also
fulfill their obligations
beneficially
.
However
, juveniles will always need
help
from older
people
in order to
make
the right choices;
so
, parents in this way are always a contributing factor in their children's resolutions.

To conclude
, due to the facts mentioned, I am of the opinion that
ultimately
,
let
young generation by their
own
not
only
make
them a self-made person
but
also
they will
highly
likely to be more generous and do not
only
think
about their ambitions.
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IELTS essay From the perspective of a number of folks, giving permission to their kids to make their own choices may bring about selfishness in the society, while others think making a decision for personal issues is vitally crucial for the future of the children lives in the community

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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