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fjjdtjiytui khan:Some parent believe that a child should not waste time by reading entertainment books instead they should spend their time reading educational books only What's your opinion on this

fjjdtjiytui khan: Some parent believe that a child should not waste time by reading entertainment books instead they should spend their time reading educational books only What's your opinion on this 3ag7m
There are a wide range of sources available to children, including fiction books so that they spend their free time by reading them. However, Parents who see it as time wasted, I accord on it despite the advantages of entertainment-based books. Firstly, none-educational books have been developed in a way that children are able to spend their leisure time efficiently. this is because those books encompasses various stories(detective, adventure and novel), which might equip youngsters with a more-well rounded perspective of life. Furthermore, there is already a distressing situation that the school life has burdened children with a wide range of pressures such as school assignments, tech-led lessons and rote-learning so this is in where the use of entertainment books would be an asset to relieve the stress. Finally, a child who read entertainment-based books will hopefully enjoy their free time, and maintain a stable learning process Conversely, it is true that if children spend more time on education books this will pave the way for them to excel academically. First, those books are designed by pedagogic experts and incorporate many study skills, meaning that learners can assimilate better knowledge. those books would also help children's formal examinations because there is an enormous information associated with various fields which are by no means available in fiction books. Therefore, it would be sensible idea to provide educational books for children as integrated part of school curriculum To conclude, it seems advisable to give entertainment-based books; however, it appears to me that the advantages of educational books are far great.
There are a wide range of sources available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, including fiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by reading them.
However
, Parents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wasted, I accord on it despite the advantages of entertainment-based books.

Firstly
, none-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have
been developed
in a way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are able to spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
efficiently
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
encompasses various stories(detective, adventure and novel), which might equip youngsters with a more-well rounded perspective of life.
Furthermore
, there is already a distressing situation that the school life has burdened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with a wide range of pressures such as school assignments, tech-led lessons and rote-learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this is in where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
would be an asset to relieve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Finally
, a child who read entertainment-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will
hopefully
enjoy their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and maintain a stable learning process

Conversely
, it is true that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
this will pave the way for them to excel
academically
.
First
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are designed
by pedagogic experts and incorporate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, meaning that learners can assimilate better knowledge.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children's formal examinations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'an' is probably wrong.
an enormous information
associated with various fields which are by no means available in fiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Therefore
, it would be sensible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to provide educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as integrated part of school curriculum

To conclude
, it seems advisable to give entertainment-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
;
however
, it appears to me that the advantages of educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are far great.
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IELTS essay fjjdtjiytui khan: Some parent believe that a child should not waste time by reading entertainment books instead they should spend their time reading educational books only What's your opinion on this

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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