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Favorite person from a book

Favorite person from a book 3by3N
First I saw HP in 2008 on the TV and I really was impressed but I still haven't read a book. While my peers were fascinated by 3 main characters I was charmed by another one who always wore black. I've liked Severus Snape since I first saw him on the screen, instantly. I must give credit to Alan Rickman who played incredibly and who was unknown for me that time. He could hide the countless goodness under the false mask of arrogance and venom. Despite Alan was a talented actor, he couldn't convince me that Severus was an evil. The more I watched the more I became devoted to him and very soon I found him the greatest character, far stronger than even mighty Dumbledore. First, Severus was remarkably bright and even corrected spells being a student. Also, he always acted reasonably, wisely, with an insight of all possible consequences. Then, I admire his composure level. Second, he was reliable, loyal, faithful and devoted to his love, that’s why as a shadow he watched Harry and protected him for all his life. Furthermore, he sacrificed himself to save the boy’s life and at the end there weren’t any doubts about his personality. To sum up, this character has collected all noble features I strive to develop in myself and also I consider we have some things in common. That’s why I've liked him for all these years. Always.
First
I
saw
HP in 2008 on the TV and I
really
was impressed
but
I
still
haven't read a book.

While
my peers
were fascinated
by 3 main characters I
was charmed
by another one who always wore black.

I've liked Severus
Snape
since I
first
saw
him on the screen,
instantly
. I
must
give credit to Alan
Rickman
who played
incredibly
and who was unknown for me that time. He could
hide
the countless goodness under the false mask of arrogance and venom. Despite Alan was a talented actor, he couldn't convince me that Severus was an evil. The more I
watched
the more I became devoted to him and
very
soon
I found him the greatest character, far stronger than even mighty Dumbledore.

First
, Severus was
remarkably
bright and even corrected spells being a student.
Also
, he always acted
reasonably
,
wisely
, with an insight of all possible consequences. Then, I admire his composure level. Second, he was reliable, loyal, faithful and devoted to his
love
, that’s why as a shadow he
watched
Harry and protected him for all his life.
Furthermore
, he sacrificed himself to save the boy’s life and at the
end
there weren’t any doubts about his personality.

To sum up, this character has collected all noble features I strive to develop in myself and
also
I consider we have
some
things in common. That’s why I've liked him for all these years.
Always
.
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IELTS essay Favorite person from a book

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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