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Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. with this statement? J7PD
Many parents want to give best education to their children so most of the rich families prefer private and expensive schools for their children’s education. I completely disagree with above statement because everyone should pay taxes which support whole education system. Many families hire private schools for their children’s best education and they think that they do not need to pay educational taxes to government because their children are not using government education system but government is not forcing parents for that so parents should pay it because government tried to give equal education to all children whether it is richer or poor. For example, government provides transportation system for every people in country but if you are not using it then it is totally your fault because it is available for everyone and you should pay some charges for that so that government can improve more facilities for you. Moreover, if people will pay educational taxes to the government then only they are able to include facilities which are available in private school. For example, in private school, they are include extra activities like crafts, skating and karate for students and they are paying higher amount for that but in government’s schools, it is not possible because of less fund. If government do not have money to spend in education sector then many children, who are studying in government’s schools might face some problems. For example, due to this government will not able to provide books and other materials to needy students so they might face issue. In conclusion, whether people will use government’s facilities or not everyone should pay all taxes because all facilities are for us only.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents want to
A determiner is probably missing here: "give the best".
give best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of the rich families prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
and expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I completely disagree with above statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
which support whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
families hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
best
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they do not need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not forcing parents for that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
parents should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
tried to give equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whether it is richer or poor.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides transportation system for every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if you are not using it then it is
totally
your fault
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is available for everyone and you should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
charges for that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
more facilities for you.

Moreover
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they are able to include facilities which are available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they are
Consider using a past participle here: "included".
include
extra activities like crafts, skating and karate for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students and
they are paying higher amount for that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, it is not possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less fund. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
do not have money to spend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, who are studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
might face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.
For example
, due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will not able to provide books and other materials to needy students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they might face issue.

In conclusion
, whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
facilities or not everyone should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all facilities are for us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
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IELTS essay Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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