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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should banned.

Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should banned. xmx1N
UNDOUBTEDLY, in this modern era, extreme sports have become increasingly popular. And it is often thought by people that the government should prohibited them. Ogilvy disagree with that view that these such sports are too dangerous. On the one hand, so-called extreme sports are not too dangerous as the people think. All sports involve element of risk, and people must be known with it's procedures to reduce the accident possibility.
UNDOUBTEDLY
, in this modern era, extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have become
increasingly
popular. And it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "prohibit"
prohibited
them. Ogilvy
The singular proper name 'Ogilvy' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "disagrees", "disagreed".
disagree
with that view that these such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
involve element of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be known
Did you mean "with its procedures"?
with it's procedures
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the accident possibility.
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IELTS essay Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should banned.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
70 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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