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• Explain why you are interested in helping • Give details of the suitable past experience • Suggest ways you might help with the event

• Explain why you are interested in helping • Give details of the suitable past experience • Suggest ways you might help with the event Nwg0W
Dear Sir, I am writing to ask you about volunteers to support running a charity event for maintaining a local environment. Last Monday, I saw that you are advertising some volunteers for the charity event through the daily newspaper. I am very interested in helping the event because I have participated in volunteer activities to clean public parks and footpaths, and I also discussed with team members about sustainability during each activity. I learnt that Picking up rubbish and sorting out them for recycling and waste were essential for protecting beautiful environment where we live in. If I can assist you to run your charity event, I may be able to make posters to let local people know about how important sustainability is for our earth and to join the charity event in order to encourage people to do sustainable practices. I would be glad to support you to write letters or plan time table for the event, too. I look forward to hearing from you, Yours faithfully, Kanako Okamoto
Dear Sir,

I am writing to ask you about volunteers to support running a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
for maintaining a local environment. Last Monday, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that you are advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
volunteers for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
through the daily newspaper.

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested in helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have participated in volunteer activities to clean public parks and footpaths, and I
also
discussed with team members about sustainability during each activity. I
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
that Picking up rubbish and sorting out them for recycling and waste were essential for protecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
environment where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

If I can assist you to run your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
, I may be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
posters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sustainability is for our earth and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in order to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do sustainable practices. I would be glad to support you to write letters or plan time table for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
, too.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Kanako
Possible spelling mistake found.
Okamoto
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IELTS essay • Explain why you are interested in helping • Give details of the suitable past experience • Suggest ways you might help with the event

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
169 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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