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Each year the crime rate increases.What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Each year the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? QxG1
Every passing year the number of crimes increses for a great number of reasons. Firstly, this essay will discuss the main cause of the problem and secondly will give suggestions on how to decrease it. On the one hand, the main reason of offences is illiteracy people that commit crimes more frequently. Daily life is harder for people with low literacy since their employment histories consisted of mostly low wage jobs with frequent periods of unemployment. A person who cannot supply his family with basic daily needs such as housing, food stamps, medical care feels isolated and dissatisfied. As a matter of illiteracy they are less likely to get involved in community activities like sports, social groups and sees crimes such as shoplifting, automobile theft, burglary, robbery as the only solution without thinking the end. For example, statistics shows that 79 of 100 inmates entering canadian state prisons do not have a high school diploma, 60% of them even do not write or read. On the other hand, the most practical solution to this problem is a government-sponsored awareness compaign. These literacy compaigns can provide many youth and adults with a chance to build a brighter future as well as giving young people at risk of delinquency the skills they need to find jobs and escape from poverty. Especially these programs will give inmates the skills to get steady jobs when they are released, which reduces their chances of re-offending. When returning to their communities with a more positive self image they will proud of what they have achieved and self -esteem helps them avoid one of the main causes of criminal activity-unemployment. For instance, in a USA study, getting a college degree in prison reduced recidivism by 100 %. In conclusion, all the people including young people, adult or prisoners should be encouraged to take part in literacy trainings in order to prevent the increasing amount of crime.
Every passing year the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
Possible spelling mistake found.
increses
for a great number of reasons.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the main cause of the problem and
secondly
will give suggestions on how to decrease it.

On the one hand, the main reason of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
is illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
more
frequently
. Daily life is harder for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with low literacy since their employment histories consisted of
mostly
low wage jobs with frequent periods of unemployment. A person who cannot supply his family with basic daily needs such as housing, food stamps, medical care feels isolated and dissatisfied. As a matter of illiteracy they are less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in community activities like sports, social groups and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as shoplifting, automobile theft, burglary, robbery as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution without thinking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
For example
, statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 79 of 100 inmates entering
Possible spelling mistake found.
canadian
state prisons do not have a high school diploma, 60% of them even do not write or read.

On the other hand
, the most practical solution to this problem is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-sponsored awareness
Possible spelling mistake found.
compaign
.
Did you mean "this literacy" or "These literacies"?
These literacy
Possible spelling mistake found.
compaigns
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youth and adults with a chance to build a brighter future
as well
as giving young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of delinquency the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they need to find jobs and escape from poverty.
Especially
these programs will give inmates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
steady jobs when they
are released
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their chances of re-offending. When returning to their communities with a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self image
they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will proud
of what they have achieved and self -esteem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them avoid one of the main causes of criminal activity-unemployment.
For instance
, in a USA study, getting a college degree in prison
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
recidivism by 100 %.

In conclusion
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, adult or prisoners should
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in literacy trainings in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the increasing amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
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IELTS essay Each year the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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