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Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sports celebrities. G02L
Many people work hand in hand to construct our society. While doctors, nurses and teachers contribute greatly to the community, persons in the entertainment and sports industry add relaxation and enjoyment to our lives. While the distribution of payment to these groups has always been debated, I personally disagree to the fact that the former group must be given higher remuneration than the latter. Undoubtedly, doctors and nurses are a crucial part of everyone's life since they deliver health care to the people, helping them to maintain good health with immediate and adequate care while teachers seed knowledge, social as well as moral values in children which is vital. It is definitely a service oriented group whose significance cannot be downsized. However, it is not practical to pay them higher as they are more in count and thus offering higher payments to them may affect the stability of the organisation and the government which can directly strike the economy of the nation. Moreover, the reality is that not all individuals in the entertainment and sports field are getting handsome perks. Celebrities who gain immense popularity, success and importance from the government and public, are comparatively minimal in number and they are the only ones who are paid higher. These public figures get their huge reward as a price of acceptance and appreciation from fans for their hard work. In addition, government has minimal role in such rewards and it is the collective money from everyone in the nation which does not have a significant impact on the government or any organisation. In conclusion, although it is true that doctors, nurses and teachers are the cornerstones of a nation's development, they cannot be paid more than the individuals in sports and entertainment industry owing to their number. However, government can take initiative to ensure ethical and scientific payment policy for them and also appreciate individuals who contribute extraordinarily in the form of rewards, so that they will be happy to continually extend their benefit to the community.
Many
people
work hand in hand to construct our society. While doctors, nurses and teachers contribute
greatly
to the community, persons in the entertainment and sports industry
add
relaxation and enjoyment to our
lives
. While the distribution of payment to these groups has always
been debated
, I
personally
disagree to the fact that the former group
must
be
given
higher remuneration than the latter.

Undoubtedly
, doctors and nurses are a crucial part of everyone's life since they deliver health care to the
people
, helping them to maintain
good
health with immediate and adequate care while teachers seed knowledge, social
as well
as moral values in children which is vital. It is definitely a service oriented group whose significance cannot
be downsized
.
However
, it is not practical to pay them higher as they are more in count and
thus
offering higher payments to them may affect the stability of the
organisation
and the
government
which can
directly
strike the economy of the nation.

Moreover
, the reality is that not all individuals in the entertainment and sports field are getting handsome perks. Celebrities who gain immense popularity, success and importance from the
government
and public, are
comparatively
minimal in number
and they are the
only
ones who
are paid
higher. These public figures
get
their huge reward as a price of acceptance and appreciation from fans for their
hard
work.
In addition
,
government
has minimal role in such rewards and it is the collective money from everyone in the nation which does not have a significant impact on the
government
or any
organisation
.

In conclusion
, although it is true that doctors, nurses and teachers are the cornerstones of a nation's development, they cannot
be paid
more than the individuals in sports and entertainment industry owing to their number.
However
,
government
can take initiative to ensure ethical and scientific payment policy for them and
also
appreciate individuals who contribute
extraordinarily
in the form of rewards,
so
that they will be happy to
continually
extend their benefit to the community.
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IELTS essay Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sports celebrities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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