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“Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

“Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life? ” nqaR
Nowadays, it is imperative for students to do regular exercise besides studies in order to create balance in life. I completely favour the phenomenon of introducing extra-curricular activities in a children life keeping their physical and mental growth in mind. In order to have flourishing academic career mental health plays an important role. Extra-Curricular activities like exercise, music, dance and many more acts as a stress buster for children. In today's time due to busy study schedule kids hardly get time to concentrate on their fitness. Hence, by involving these activities in the education curriculum and making it mandatory to follow, student's physical and mental fitness can be ensured. Another fact is, it helps in raising the IQ level in students, making them mentally fit for various upcoming competitions. To exemplify, for a competition like a spelling bee or science and technology, sharp memory is required and daily workouts and proper diet helps in facing such faceoffs. Furthermore, technology innovations have badly impacted students lifestyle. In spite of doing physical exercises, kids prefer to play online video games on mobile phones. Their social interaction has minimised to a greater extent. And it has created several health issues among youngsters like obesity, weakened eyesight. In order to bring back the enthusiasm and courage and eradicate the negative impact of technology on children, it is highly recommended for parents and teachers to involve the majority of children in extra activities teaching them to prioritise their health over gadgets. To reiterate, physical and mental fitness is important for every individual especially youngsters. Our education system needs to come up with strategies to involve students in extracurricular activities and also create awareness among children regarding how important it is for them to have a healthy way of life.
Nowadays, it is imperative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do regular exercise
besides
studies in order to create balance in life. I completely
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the phenomenon of introducing extra-curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
growth in mind.

In order to have flourishing academic career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role. Extra-Curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like exercise, music, dance and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more acts as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time due to busy study schedule kids hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time to concentrate on their fitness.
Hence
, by involving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in the education curriculum and making it mandatory to follow, student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
fitness can
be ensured
. Another fact is, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in raising the IQ level in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, making them mentally fit for various upcoming competitions. To exemplify, for a competition like a spelling bee or science and technology, sharp memory
is required
and daily workouts and proper diet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in facing such
Possible spelling mistake found.
faceoffs
.

Furthermore
, technology innovations have
badly
impacted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercises, kids prefer to play online video games on mobile phones. Their social interaction has
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
to a greater extent. And it has created several health issues among youngsters like obesity, weakened eyesight. In order to bring back the enthusiasm and courage and eradicate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of technology on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it is
highly
recommended for parents and teachers to involve the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
teaching them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
their health over gadgets.

To reiterate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
fitness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every individual
especially
youngsters. Our education system needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with strategies to involve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
also
create awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
regarding how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
it is for them to have a healthy way of life.
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IELTS essay “Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life? ”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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