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Do you really need to have university education to be successful

Do you really need to have university education to be successful pRa1D
Society connects success with a good university, but does it really make you successful? Succes, the accomplishment of an aim or purpose, can be defined in various ways so you can have a promising career, and still be unsatisfied with your life. University education is a way to success, but it is not the only one. Back in the day when Absolute monarchy existed, education was the only means for normal citizens to achieve a better status in the society. So it is no surprise that most parents want their children to get into a good university because generations of generations have imprinted these mindsets, and it was true until recently when The Technology age started. Nowadays, tons of jobs that don’t require university education appear such as Youtubers, and internet influencers. If you still want to study there are many online courses and applications, which you can learn from and they are free for instance Khan Academy. It is an ugly truth even though we have more jobs than ever that we can choose now, the number of faculties at the university remain unchanged especially in Thailand. With not many faculties to pick, many teenagers don’t even know what they want to be so they can only choose what is available and idealistic for their parents. What is the point of having a country full of engineers or doctors who hate their jobs? So it is not that surprising that many medical student, doctors and engineer quit their jobs or suicide. All of this leads to the rise of the unemployment rate and creates a very toxic environment. Sadly many people cannot be successful with this entire unsuccessful educational system. However, by changing your perspectives you may find the success you never knew you had. Helen Keller, an American author, disability rights advocate, political activist and lecturer, said that “Your success and happiness lie in you” which makes sense. No one is perfect and we can’t be successful with everything. If you never stop to appreciate yourself at your lowest you will never be happy even at your highest. With how outdated our university educational system is I believe university education is unnecessary for us to be successful as long as we change our mindsets and use the technology we have to the full potential.
Society connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
does it
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
?
Possible spelling mistake found.
Succes
, the accomplishment of an aim or purpose, can
be defined
in various ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can have a promising career, and
still
be unsatisfied
with your life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one.

Back in the day when Absolute monarchy existed,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
means for normal citizens to achieve a better status in the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is no surprise that most parents want their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
generations of generations have imprinted these mindsets, and it was true until recently when The Technology age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
. Nowadays, tons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that don’t require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
appear such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtubers
, and internet influencers. If you
still
want to study there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online courses and applications, which you can learn
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
from and
they are free
for instance
Khan Academy.

It is an ugly truth
even though
we have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
than ever that we can choose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the number of faculties at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
remain unchanged
especially
in Thailand. With not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
faculties to pick,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
don’t even know what they want to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
choose what is available and idealistic for their parents. What is the point of having a country full of engineers or doctors who hate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is not that surprising that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medical student, doctors and engineer quit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or suicide. All of this leads to the rise of the unemployment rate and creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
toxic environment.
Sadly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
with this entire unsuccessful educational system.

However
, by changing your perspectives you may find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
you never knew you had.

Helen Keller, an American author, disability rights advocate, political activist and lecturer, said that “Your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and happiness lie in you” which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense. No one is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
perfect and
we can’t be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
with everything.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to appreciate yourself at your lowest you will never be happy even at your highest.

With how outdated our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
educational system is I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is unnecessary for us to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
as long as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our mindsets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the technology we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
the full potential.
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IELTS essay Do you really need to have university education to be successful

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
386 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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