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Discuss your favorite memory at school

Discuss your favorite memory at school 66bw8
There are plenty of memories that I have associated with my time at school. I remember sitting at Khokha (a canteen there) with my friends and doing number of activites. That was indeed a great time. We used to sit there and gossip about our faculty and other members in school. We discussed many of the problem while sitting and having snacks there. We had a wide list of menu to choose snacks from there. I remember that time because we never cared for money then and used to offer free meals to each other if anyone didn't have money. I remember my friends and that leisureful life.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of memories that I have associated with my time at school. I remember sitting at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khokha
(a canteen there) with my friends and doing number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
. That was
indeed
a great time. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to sit there and gossip about our faculty and other members in school. We discussed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the problem while sitting and having snacks there.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
We
had a wide list of menu to choose snacks from there. I remember that time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we never cared for money then and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to offer free meals to each other if anyone didn't have money. I remember my friends and that
Possible spelling mistake found.
leisureful
life.
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IELTS essay Discuss your favorite memory at school

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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