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discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computers?

discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computers? g5bE1
Nowadays, although using computers have many merits such as getting access to information easily and helping students in their studies, there are demerits such as breaking the privacy and losing of data. In this essay, both the positives and negatives of utilizing computers will be discussed thoroughly. On the one hand, one of the significant advantages is the ability to access to a variety of information. This is because there are many websites which can be accessed to get information, which are helpful to get notified with the recent updates about many topics throughout our life; therefore, it is essential to learn how to surf those. Additionally, the education system has been shifted to online training; thus, computers have become indispensable for all of us to be able to learn and get in contact with our courses. Based on an article that has been published in ScienceDirect International Journal, many students have achieved higher marks compared to those who do not utilize computers in their studies. Hence, as there are many benefits of computers, obligatory training should be provided about the efficient utilization of this technology. On the other hand, one of the significant disadvantages is the issue of breaking the privacy because there are wide range of hacking websites which have the ability to access to our data. The result is that our private information can be stolen and lost; therefore, we need to install the up-to-date security programs to be safe. Additionally, due to many technicality problems, the software of the computer can be affected, which leads to the loss of all our installed essential programs. Hence, it is important to have another copy of all our valued data, which are available in our computers on a daily basis. In conclusion, although accessing to information and aiding students in their studies are the positives of utilizing the computers, we need to tackle those negatives such as the concept of confidentiality and the issue of losing tremendous amount of data; therefore, we need to learn how to get the maximum benefits and be away from those drawbacks.
Nowadays, although using computers have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits such as getting access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
easily
and helping students in their studies, there are demerits such as breaking the privacy and losing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
. In this essay, both the positives and negatives of utilizing computers will
be discussed
thoroughly
.

On the one hand, one of the significant advantages is the ability to access to a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites which can
be accessed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, which are helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
notified with the recent updates about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
topics throughout our life;
therefore
, it is essential to learn how to surf those.
Additionally
, the education system has
been shifted
to online training;
thus
, computers have become indispensable for all of us to be able to learn and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in contact with our courses. Based on an article that has
been published
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
ScienceDirect
International Journal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students have achieved higher marks compared to those who do not utilize computers in their studies.
Hence
, as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of computers, obligatory training should
be provided
about the efficient utilization of this technology.

On the other hand
, one of the significant disadvantages is the issue of breaking the privacy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are wide range of hacking websites which have the ability to access to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
. The result is that our private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
be stolen
and lost;
therefore
, we need to install the up-to-date security programs to be safe.
Additionally
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
technicality problems, the software of the computer can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
, which leads to the loss of all our installed essential programs.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have another copy of all our valued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
, which are available in our computers on a daily basis.

In conclusion
, although accessing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and aiding students in their studies are the positives of utilizing the computers, we need to tackle those negatives such as the concept of confidentiality and the issue of losing tremendous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
;
therefore
, we need to learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the maximum benefits and be away from those drawbacks.
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IELTS essay discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computers?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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