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describe a situation you were not allowed to use your cell phone ?

describe a situation you were not allowed to use your cell phone? GM9mw
The mobile phone disturb the human life this days. As now people also can't live without cell phone. today i am going to talk about a situation were cell phone not allowed. It happen when some relatives come at my home to spend vacation time. My mom will say me to go with the relatives roam at akshardham temple. It is a sunday time so there were very rush of people that day. We also enter in the temple and i forget to switch off my phone and then my relatives told that we want to buy some sweets to plating in the temple, we go to the shop and buy sweets, and then we enter the gate of temple, and stand in to the line we seen that the line is to big, but we start walk slow slow then we reach the main gate suddenly my cellphone starts ringing every people seen me like that i have do any big crime, i put out my phone from in the pocket and then i do as switch off. It is a time i am feel shameless then we complete our worship we go to the garden and seat in the garden and eat plating, but i am not on my phone after spending two hours we came outside to temple, and i start my phone and i seen there were four miss call of my friend in my phone, and i call and ask him why did you call me four times he gave me reply i want to ask you where is you then i give reply and cut the phone, and we all come back my home.
The mobile
phone
disturb the human life
this days
.
As
now
people
also
can't
live
without cell
phone
.
today
i
am going to talk about a situation were cell
phone
not
allowed
. It
happen
when
some
relatives
come
at my home to spend vacation
time
. My mom will
say
me to
go with
the relatives roam at
akshardham
temple
. It is a
sunday
time
so
there were
very
rush of
people
that day. We
also
enter in the
temple
and
i
forget to switch off my
phone
and then my relatives
told
that we want to
buy
some
sweets to plating in the
temple
, we go to the shop and
buy
sweets, and then we enter the gate of
temple
, and stand in to the line we
seen
that the line is
to
big
,
but
we
start
walk
slow slow
then we reach the main gate
suddenly
my cellphone
starts
ringing every
people
seen
me like that
i
have do any
big
crime,
i
put out my
phone
from in the pocket and then
i
do as switch off. It is a
time
i
am feel shameless then we complete our worship we go to the garden and seat in the garden and eat plating,
but
i
am not on my
phone
after spending two hours we came outside to
temple
, and
i
start
my
phone
and
i
seen
there were four miss call of my friend in my
phone
, and
i
call and ask him why did you call me four
times
he gave me reply
i
want to ask you where is you then
i
give reply and
cut
the
phone
, and we all
come
back my home.
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IELTS essay describe a situation you were not allowed to use your cell phone?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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