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describe a situation you were not allowed to use your cell phone ?

describe a situation you were not allowed to use your cell phone? GM9mw
The mobile phone disturb the human life this days. As now people also can't live without cell phone. today i am going to talk about a situation were cell phone not allowed. It happen when some relatives come at my home to spend vacation time. My mom will say me to go with the relatives roam at akshardham temple. It is a sunday time so there were very rush of people that day. We also enter in the temple and i forget to switch off my phone and then my relatives told that we want to buy some sweets to plating in the temple, we go to the shop and buy sweets, and then we enter the gate of temple, and stand in to the line we seen that the line is to big, but we start walk slow slow then we reach the main gate suddenly my cellphone starts ringing every people seen me like that i have do any big crime, i put out my phone from in the pocket and then i do as switch off. It is a time i am feel shameless then we complete our worship we go to the garden and seat in the garden and eat plating, but i am not on my phone after spending two hours we came outside to temple, and i start my phone and i seen there were four miss call of my friend in my phone, and i call and ask him why did you call me four times he gave me reply i want to ask you where is you then i give reply and cut the phone, and we all come back my home.
The mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
disturb the human life
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
this days
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
today
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am going to talk about a situation were cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
. It
Did you mean "happens"?
happen
when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relatives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at my home to spend vacation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. My mom will
'Say' cannot be followed by a direct personal object. Did you mean "tell"?
say
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the relatives roam at
Possible spelling mistake found.
akshardham
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temple
. It is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sunday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rush of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that day. We
also
enter in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temple
and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
forget to switch off my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and then my relatives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sweets to plating in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temple
, we go to the shop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
sweets, and then we enter the gate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temple
, and stand in to the line we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the line is
Did you mean "too"?
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
walk
Possible typo: you repeated a word
slow slow
then we reach the main gate
suddenly
my cellphone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
ringing every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
me like that
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have do any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
crime,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
put out my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
from in the pocket and then
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
do as switch off. It is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am feel shameless then we complete our worship we go to the garden and seat in the garden and eat plating,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am not on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
after spending two hours we came outside to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temple
, and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
there were four miss call of my friend in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
call and ask him why did you call me four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
he gave me reply
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
want to ask you where is you then
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
give reply and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, and we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back my home.
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IELTS essay describe a situation you were not allowed to use your cell phone?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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