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Currently, most people think a private car is mandatory for every house or everyone. Furthermore,

Currently, most people think a private car is mandatory for every house or everyone. Furthermore, a plethora of people buy a car as a passion rather than its usage. When having your own car, there are more cons than pros and I agree with the above statement. Firstly, having their own vehicle required a higher percentage of money such as cost for fuel and maintenance cost from their monthly income. Furthermore, the price of lubricants and spare parts are rapidly increasing with the current economic trend. When most of the people try to use their own vehicles for travelling, there will be more traffic congestion and lots of issues related to parking. Furthermore, a number of people per vehicle are reduced and wastage of fuel due to traffic congestion and efficiency of transportation system may decrease. And also, when we have our own vehicle, we tend to use it even for short journeys and that will affect our physical health also. Sometimes driving after work may cause major accidents and that will become higher risk. There are some advantages that can also be identified when having your own car. For emergency situations such as accidents it will become more beneficial. And also, family members can enjoy by arranging some trips and tours as their desired destinations with flexible dates. On the other hand, vehicles are used as passion by many people. By considering all pros and cons, disadvantages are significantly high compared with advantages. And also currently the government is introducing different transport models to improve the mobility of people in an efficient way. When considering the cost per litre of an own car is comparatively high compared with public transport. Finally, I can conclude that, Having own car does not provide any major benefit to people.
Currently
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is mandatory for every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or everyone.
Furthermore
, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
as a passion
rather
than its usage. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, there are more cons than pros and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
required a higher percentage of money such as cost for fuel and maintenance cost from their monthly income.
Furthermore
, the price of lubricants and spare parts are
rapidly
increasing with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
economic trend. When most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
for travelling, there will be more traffic congestion and lots of issues related to parking.
Furthermore
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and wastage of fuel due to traffic congestion and efficiency of transportation system may decrease. And
also
, when we have our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
, we tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it even for short journeys and that will affect our physical health
also
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
driving after work may cause major accidents and that will become higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages that can
also
be identified
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. For emergency situations such as accidents it will become more beneficial. And
also
, family members can enjoy by arranging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trips and tours as their desired destinations with flexible dates.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as passion by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

By considering all pros and cons, disadvantages are
significantly
high compared with advantages. And
also
currently
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is introducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
transport models to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the mobility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb “efficiently” to avoid wordiness.
in an efficient way
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
considering the cost per
Possible spelling mistake. ‘litre’ is British English.
litre
of an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is
comparatively
high compared with public transport.
Finally
, I can conclude that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
does not provide any major benefit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Currently, most people think a private car is mandatory for every house or everyone. Furthermore,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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