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Criminality is growing among children and teenagers? Why it is growing and how criminals should be treated?

The crime rate was increasing day by day among children and teenagers due to some reasons. This is burning issue, but every problem come with solution which I will discuss in coming paragraphs. 'Nobody is born criminal ' it depend on the environment in which the children is living. For instance TV serials are reason to commit crime. In a recent news one youngster in America killed his friends after watching a movie. In addition, poverty and unemployment was another reason of crime. Many children's do crimes like pick pocketing, stealing food items and many more. Poor children was unable to eat, so they do petty crimes. Another reason is lack of education, the children who was illiterate do not know bad effects of doing crimes. Hence these are reasons because of which teenagers do crimes. Furthermore, if criminals do serious crimes like rape, murder and robbery they should be hang to death, so that other people have fear to do crime moreover, the people who do petty crimes should be given a voluntary work so that they can change themselves simillarly, government can also contribute to stop these criminal activity by providing better education and employment. Thus these are some ways to treat a criminal. In conclusion, lack of education, employment and poverty leads children to do crime conversely, to treat criminal who do not do serious crime should be given voluntary work.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate was increasing day by day among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. This is burning issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with solution which I will discuss in coming paragraphs. 'Nobody
is born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
' it depend on the environment in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is living.
For instance
TV serials are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. In a recent news one youngster in America killed his friends after watching a movie.
In addition
, poverty and unemployment was another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
children's do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like pick pocketing, stealing food items and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
was unable to eat,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do petty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is lack of education, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who was illiterate do not know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Hence
these are
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reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Furthermore
, if
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criminals
do serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like rape, murder and robbery they should be hang to death,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have fear to do
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crime
moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do petty
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crimes
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a voluntary work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
themselves
simillarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
also
contribute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activity by providing better education and employment.
Thus
these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to treat a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
.
In conclusion
, lack of education, employment and poverty leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
conversely
, to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
who do not do serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
voluntary work.
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IELTS essay Criminality is growing among children and teenagers? Why it is growing and how criminals should be treated?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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