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Crime is a big problem in the world; and many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

Crime is a big problem in the world; and many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. Give your own opinion. kGQd
The criminal activity is getting worse and currently, it is a big problem that concerns the whole world. Hence, most people argued that it is impossible to hinder it. The given essay would disclaim the given statement and provide reasonable examples for it. Those who support that reduction of crime is not possible suggest a variety of points in favour of their idea. They suppose that offenders that make crimes might not be changed, and they would not have changed their minds. To support this point, criminals a merely take pleasure by doing illegal things, such as stealing and perhaps, it is linked to their psychological conditions. Furthermore, according to the statistics, not all population of the countries can afford to buy the necessary and vital goods due to the lack of work. As a result, those people commit a number of transgressions. Nevertheless, there exist manifold points to contradict the introduced point of view. First and foremost, not all the criminals might perform offences by themselves and it is possible that they may have no choice. To illustrate, some of them might be forced to do the illegal actions and it would be easier to determine and help those who are not keen on crime. Secondly, the higher education would provide the reduction of crime and improve the quality of people’s lives. Therefore, people who got the university degree will be able accessible to having a well-paid job so there will be no need in crimes and felonies. To recapitulate, the issue, namely the reduction crimes, involves so many concerns about that anything cannot preserve it because that touches the whole world nowadays. There should be development of the standard of populations’ lives in order to provide complete opportunities for life and no necessities for crimes.
The criminal activity is getting worse and
currently
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem that

concerns the whole world.
Hence
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that it is impossible to

hinder it. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
essay would disclaim the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and provide

reasonable examples for it.

Those who support that reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is not possible suggest a variety of

points in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. They suppose that offenders that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
might

not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, and they would not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their minds. To support this

point, criminals a
You used an adverb ('merely') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('take') instead of another adjective.
merely take
pleasure by doing illegal things, such as stealing and

perhaps, it
is linked
to their psychological conditions.
Furthermore
, according to

the statistics, not all population of the countries can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the necessary and

vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
due to the lack of work.
As a result
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commit a number of

transgressions.

Nevertheless
, there exist manifold points to contradict the introduced point of

view.
First
and foremost, not all the criminals might perform
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
by

themselves and it is possible that they may have no choice. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of

them might
be forced
to do the illegal actions and it would be easier to determine

and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those who are not keen on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Secondly
, the higher education would

provide the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the university degree will be able accessible to having a

well-paid job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there will be no need in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and felonies.

To recapitulate, the issue,
namely
the reduction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerns

about that anything cannot preserve it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that touches the whole world

nowadays. There should be development of the standard of populations’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in

order to provide complete opportunities for life and no necessities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
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IELTS essay Crime is a big problem in the world; and many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. Give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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