Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Cities are becoming overcrowded. What are the causes of this situation, and what can be done to improve this situation?

Cities are becoming overcrowded. What are the causes of this situation, and what can be done to improve this situation? Q35w
• Urban population is constantly growing and this can led to crowding in some cities. I think there are two main causes and two remedies we can adopt. • Cities are offering a variety of job opportunities and higher salaries. This can cause the rural people come to the city to find work with maximum wage. For example, the county is specialised in farmland so that much of the work they do may be to grow crops or feed cattle. People aspecially, youngsters want to work in companies in good conditions, and come to cities. Another possible cause is that there is city life has several types of opportunities for living, for instance, a satisfactory job market, the best education, excellent medical facilities, and the latest technology. Everyone want to get good medical treatment and better education, and these may make rural people want to spend the rest of their lives in the city. • Regarding the effectiveness of better educational and industrial development in rural areas will dramatically decrease the number of people who want to migrate to urban areas. If the government makes an effort to make better education available in villages, youngsters will no longer need to move to cities. In addition, there should be numerous industries around the countryside, which may provide enough job opportunities with higher wages in thier hometowns. For example, if certain large developed companies open their branches in the countryside as well, rural residents probably will not have to move. • In conclusion, this essay illustrated that cities have become overcrowded due to the availability of better educational facilities and countless job opportunities and suggested some measures that may decrease the population in urban areas.
• Urban population is
constantly
growing and this can led to crowding in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are two main causes and two remedies we can adopt.

•
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
are offering a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and higher salaries. This can cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the city to find work with maximum wage.
For example
, the county is
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
in farmland
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that much of the work they do may be to grow crops or feed cattle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Possible spelling mistake found.
aspecially
, youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to work in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conditions, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Another possible cause is that there is city life has several types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for living,
for instance
, a satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market, the best education, excellent medical facilities, and the latest technology. Everyone
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medical treatment and better education, and these may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to spend the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the city.

• Regarding the effectiveness of better educational and industrial development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas will
dramatically
decrease the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to migrate to urban areas. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better education available in villages, youngsters will no longer need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In addition
, there should be numerous industries around the countryside, which may provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
with higher wages in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
hometowns.
For example
, if certain large developed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
open their branches in the countryside
as well
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
residents
probably
will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.

•
In conclusion
, this essay illustrated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have become overcrowded due to the availability of better educational facilities and countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and suggested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures that may decrease the population in urban areas.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Cities are becoming overcrowded. What are the causes of this situation, and what can be done to improve this situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Cities are becoming overcrowded. What are the causes of this situation, and what can be done to improve this situation?