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Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion? jRo3X
I greatly support the idea about children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. I support it, because of the following reason. Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are raise in a certain psychological values. Such as the value of hardwork, dicipline, they are used to be in the condition where money doesn’t come easily. They have to earn it, work for it. Oppose to it, a child who comes from a wealthy family is used to have money all the time. Whenever they want something, the money is easilly gave to them as if everyday are their birthday. Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are well-trained to face adulthood. They are well-prepared to see the fact that the world is a very tough place. They watched their parent everyday worked very hard just to put food on the table. They have the advantage to see the reality and embrace it, set their mind that they too have work hard for their future, their own dreams, their authentic self. A child that came from a wealthy family doesn’t always have this advantage. This is because their eyes are blinded by the power of money, that their parent has. They also have a disadvantage of family love life. Commonly wealthy parent express love by money. They love their children, so they bought them cars, expensive clothes, toys, but they are never home when their children needs them. The basic necessity of compassion isn’t fulfilled in this kind family. The impact to a child is that they will grow up and think that money is everything, that the source of happiness is money. They don’t care about other people, they only care about money. The problem is they don’t know how to get it, they’ve been spoiled all the time, so doesn’t have the time to discovered the art of money making, only money spending. On the contrary children from families that do not have large amount of money will grow up with the sense of respect for money, they know how to get it and use it well. They know how to face adult life problems because they’ve been watching since they were child. But a wealthy child is always to busy with himself to know that.
I
greatly
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
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who
are
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brought
up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that do not have
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large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brought
up by
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wealthy
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parents
. I support it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following reason.

Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brought
up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are raise in a certain psychological values. Such as the value of
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicipline
, they are
In the grammatical structure 'pronoun + be/get + used + to + verb', the verb 'used' is used with the gerund: "used to being".
used to be
in the condition where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
easily
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
earn it, work for it. Oppose to it, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
all the time. Whenever they want something, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
easilly
gave to them as if
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
are their birthday.

Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brought
up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are well-trained to face adulthood. They are well-prepared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the fact that the world is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tough place. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
everyday worked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to put food on the table.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
have the advantage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the reality and embrace it, set their mind that they too have work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for their future, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
dreams, their authentic self. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
that came from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
doesn’t always have this advantage. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their eyes
are blinded
by the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
has. They
also
have a disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
life.
Commonly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
express
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
them cars, expensive clothes, toys,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are never home when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
needs them. The basic necessity of compassion isn’t fulfilled in this kind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. The impact to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is that they will grow up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is everything, that the source of happiness is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They don’t care about other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. The problem is they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it, they’ve
been spoiled
all the time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
doesn’t have the time
Did you mean "to discover"?
to discovered
the art of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
making,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spending.
On the contrary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will grow up with the sense of respect for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it well. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to face adult life problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they’ve been watching since they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is always to busy with himself to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that.
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IELTS essay Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
419 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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