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Children are taking participating in physical game. It is negative or positive development for children as well as society?

Children are taking participating in physical game. It is negative or positive development for children as well as society? lxbrD
It is considered that, with the development of different cooking equipment the process of making food become easy these days, this has changed the life of an individual completely. I will discuss some negative and positive consequences of this trend in forthcoming paragraps. To commence with, now what is the life of people has become easier in preparing food. Because of the invention of electronic gadgets such as, grinder, microwave oven and induction and many more. That's help individuals to make food in few second. Moreover, this device is reduced the risk of burning accident as compared to past because, in past time making food has a big risk of lethal accidents like a fire catch the hand but in this cutting-edge Arora all electronic gadgets are save and do not have any threat of accident. In addition to this the comma gadgets are the major benefits for human is that they can save a lot of time with the help of these requirements because food requires less the time to prepare and people can easily devote their saved time on their work Thus new cooking equipments helps to avoid accident as they are properly made with proper instruction. Furthermore, there are few negative impacts of this trend. Premier Li coma the the effect on human health because when cooked it reduced the nutrients values of food. Due to this food become unhealthy and it affect and visual health because they are consuming unhealthy food for stop which is a debtor milti for their health and save several health hazards like city and hard problem presently and visuals are suffering from various lethal disease is not only this but also people are over relying on these gadgets just because it is a saving their time as it food needs less effect to prepare. Hence our people are devoting from healthy food for the stop because they are a walking benefits in packed food for which prepared in few seconds. To conclude, although it help people to save their time yet it change their living style completely and they are forward bending on electronic devices.
It
is considered
that, with the development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cooking equipment the process of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
become easy these days, this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the life of an individual completely. I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences of this trend in forthcoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
paragraps
.

To commence with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
what is the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has become easier in preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the invention of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
such as, grinder, microwave oven and induction and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. That's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in few second.
Moreover
, this device is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of burning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
as compared to past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of lethal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
like a fire catch the hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this cutting-edge
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arora
all electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
are
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
and do not have any threat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
.
In addition
to this the comma
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
are the major benefits for human is that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of these requirements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
requires less the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to prepare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
devote their saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their work
Thus
new cooking equipments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
as they are
properly
made with proper instruction.

Furthermore
, there are few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of this trend. Premier Li coma
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
effect on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when cooked it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the nutrients values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
become unhealthy and it
Did you mean "affects"?
affect
and visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are consuming unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
which is a debtor
Possible spelling mistake found.
milti
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
hazards like city and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
problem
presently
and visuals are suffering from various lethal disease is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are over relying on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a saving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as
It seems that the possessive pronoun "its" fits better in this context. Please verify.
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
needs less effect to prepare.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are devoting from healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are a walking benefits in packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for which prepared in few seconds.

To conclude
, although it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
yet
it
Did you mean "changes"?
change
their living style
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
completely and
they are forward bending on electronic devices.
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IELTS essay Children are taking participating in physical game. It is negative or positive development for children as well as society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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