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Cause and effect essay: A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health, especially gaining weight of the general population. Researchers are warning people with the facts that obesity can bring serious problems such as depression and heart-related diseases. In this essay, we will discuss the possible causes and effects of being overweight.

Cause and effect essay: A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health, especially gaining weight of the general population. Researchers are warning people with the facts that obesity can bring serious problems such as depression and heart-related diseases. In this essay, we will discuss the possible causes and effects of being overweight. BL5Np
In my opinion, one of the main reasons why people get obese is eating junk food and a sedentary lifestyle. Nowadays, the number of people who working day and night is constantly increasing, so they do not have any leisure time to cook by themselves. In order to save some time to work, they prefer to order a cheap meal from fast-food restaurants, such as MacDonalds, KFC and etc which after what, they consume more fats, carbohydrates than they would cook by themselves. Because, scientists proved that, if a person cook from natural ingredients, the number of fats will be considerably fewer than in restaurants. Also, the next reason for this problem is a sedentary lifestyle without any physical activities. Now, people to relax choose sitting in front of the TV instead of doing sport. It has been proved that during the sport, it is so much oxygen carried to the brain, after which you will feel yourself cheerfully. But when we are collapsing near the TV, we burn fewer calories than we consume, as a result, of course, we are starting to gain the pounds. As the possible effects of this problem, we can consider some health problems and loss of productivity. First of all, obesity results in incorrect functioning of the body and contributes to the risk of developing some chronic diseases. For example, as body fat percentage increases, the person's metabolism worsens, which in turn may result in diabetes or heart diseases. Secondly, overweight people are very unhealthy and often suffer from stress and tiredness. This lessens their work capacity and results in lower productivity. For example, it has been proven that an obese person needs to put more effort to complete some task than a person with normal weight. To sum up, obesity is a big problem that affects a lot of people nowadays. It’s mainly caused by inactive lifestyle and eating disorders and results in severe health problems and loss of productivity.
In my opinion, one of the main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
obese is eating junk food and a sedentary lifestyle. Nowadays, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who working day and night is
constantly
increasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have any leisure time to cook by themselves. In order to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to work, they prefer to order a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
meal from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food restaurants, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
MacDonalds
, KFC
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
which after what, they consume more fats, carbohydrates than they would cook by themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, scientists proved that, if a person cook from natural ingredients, the number of fats will be
considerably
fewer than in restaurants.

Also
, the
next
reason for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is a sedentary lifestyle without any physical activities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relax choose sitting in front of the TV
instead
of doing sport. It has
been proved
that during the sport, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much oxygen carried to the brain, after which you will feel yourself
cheerfully
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when we are collapsing near the TV, we burn fewer calories than we consume, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
,
of course
, we are starting to gain the pounds.

As the possible effects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, we can consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and loss of productivity.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, obesity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in incorrect functioning of the body and contributes to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chronic diseases.
For example
, as body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
percentage increases, the person's metabolism worsens, which in turn may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in diabetes or heart diseases.

Secondly
, overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unhealthy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tiredness. This lessens their work capacity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in lower productivity.
For example
, it has
been proven
that an obese person needs to put more effort to complete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
task than a person with normal weight.

To sum up, obesity is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that affects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays. It’s
mainly
caused by inactive lifestyle and eating disorders and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in severe health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and loss of productivity.
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IELTS essay Cause and effect essay: A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health, especially gaining weight of the general population. Researchers are warning people with the facts that obesity can bring serious problems such as depression and heart-related diseases. In this essay, we will discuss the possible causes and effects of being overweight.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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