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Can money bring happiness What are the factors for happiness

Can money bring happiness What are the factors for happiness xmPo9
It has always been an interesting topic of debate if money can truly bring happiness. Some believe it while others argue that money does not bring happiness. This essay will provide strong points on why money can bring happiness. It is firmly believed especially by religious people that money is the root of all evil. They will argue that because of greediness and the desire to acquire great amount of fortune, people tend to do illegal things. These crimes will only result to the disruption of society and therefore, will cause chaos and depression to most people. Therefore, this strengthen their position that money is just a material thing that does not bring happiness. On the other hand, people believe that money is one of the keys to happiness. It brings joy and fulfillment when they use the fortune that they acquired in building and achieving their dreams. For instance, some use their money to buy their dream house and car while others use it to provide assistance to their love ones. It clearly shows that money when properly used can bring a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction and true happiness in their lives. In conclusion, I fully agree that money when used properly can bring happiness. The sense of fulfillment is overwhelming especially if you know that you have put to good use the money that you worked hard for.
It has always been an interesting topic of debate if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
truly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe it while others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. This essay will provide strong points on why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
happiness.

It is
firmly
believed
especially
by religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the root of all evil. They will argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of greediness and the desire to acquire great amount of fortune,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to do illegal things. These crimes will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
result to the disruption of society and
therefore
, will cause chaos and depression to most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
,
The verb 'strengthen' is plural. Did you mean: "this strengthens"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this strengthen
their position that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a material thing that does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
happiness.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is one of the keys to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
joy and fulfillment when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the fortune that they acquired in building and achieving their dreams.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and car while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to provide assistance to their
Did you mean "loved ones"?
love ones
. It
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when
properly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction and true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
properly
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. The sense of fulfillment is overwhelming
especially
if you know that you have put to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that you worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for.
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IELTS essay Can money bring happiness What are the factors for happiness

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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