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The time people devote in job leaves very little time for personal life

The time people devote in job leaves very little time for personal life E39mQ
The problem of the time people devote in job leaves very little time for personal life which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that is it hazardous while others reject this notion. However, the substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational. So, this essay will further elaborate the negative effects of this trend and thus will lead to a logical conclusion. To begin with, there are myriad of reasons which will further explain this argument but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that people are very busy in their work and they have no enough time to live with their family. Another pivotal aspect of this trend is that if people do not spend time in their family they can effects on their relationships. Hence, it is apparent why many are against in favor of this trend. On the other hand, in these days people hardworking and they have no time to meet with their friends as well as family. Moreover, this is serious problem which are faced by people in their life. For example, in foreign countries people have to do more work they are not able to spend their time with their children, friends and family. According to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that the problem of the time people devote in job leaves very little time for personal life can be successfully addressed, provided that the above stand measure are taken.
The problem of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
devote in job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for personal life which was always debatable has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more controversial with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claiming
that is
it hazardous while others reject this notion.
However
, the substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this essay will
further
elaborate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of this trend and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are myriad of reasons which will
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most preponderant one stems from the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their family. Another pivotal aspect of this trend is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their family they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "effect"
effects
on their relationships.
Hence
, it is apparent why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are against in favor of this trend.

On the other hand
, in these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hardworking and
they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with their friends
as well
as family.
Moreover
, this is serious problem which
are faced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their life.
For example
, in foreign countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do more work they are not able to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their children, friends and family.

According to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that the problem of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
devote in job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for personal life can be
successfully
addressed, provided that the above stand measure
are taken
.
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IELTS essay The time people devote in job leaves very little time for personal life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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