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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Lp8V
Online shopping has been the trend in this time and day that the world is experiencing a pandemic. I believe that buying online the things like books, air tickets and groceries is more beneficial. One of the benefits of buying online is the safety of consumers. Some people are hesitant to go out and buy the things they need knowing that they are not sure if they will contract the virus or not. For example, mothers cannot just leave their house and children to do grocery shopping so they choose to order online the goods they need and wait for it to be delivered at their home. This way is more secure and convenient to the part of the buyer. Accessibilty is also one of the benefits of doing online shopping. The shoppers can have a variety of shopping site they can choose from since they are all easily accessible in the internet. Just like when they want to travel, they could visit different website of airlines to compare airfare prices and they have could choose the best deal for them. Consumers can easily choose the flight they want and they could also make any special request easily without even going out. Therefore, online shopping helps the life of the people to be more convenient, safe, secured and hassle free which is why it is no doubt that it became more popular today.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has been the trend in this time and day that the world is experiencing a pandemic. I believe that buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
the things like books, air tickets and groceries is more beneficial.

One of the benefits of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is the safety of consumers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are hesitant to go out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the things they need knowing that they are not sure if they will contract the virus or not.
For example
, mothers cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and children to do grocery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
they need and wait for it to
be delivered
at their home. This way is more secure and convenient to the part of the buyer.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Accessibilty
is
also
one of the benefits of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The shoppers can have a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
site they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
from since they are all
easily
accessible
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like when they want to travel, they could visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
website of airlines to compare airfare
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
prices and
they have could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the best deal for them. Consumers can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the flight they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
want and
they could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any special request
easily
without even going out.

Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the life of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be more convenient, safe, secured and hassle free which is why it is no doubt that it became more popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
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IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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