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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relavant examples if necessary.

It is considered that a huge wage is more beneficial to choose a job with a high wage, even if it isn't attractive to you at all. As to my mind, I completely disagree with such a position and think that job satisfaction is more significant than salary. First of all, job satisfaction provides a sense of fulfillment which no money can guarantee. Although money is essential for survival and good living, they couldn’t give a sense of accomplishment. Usually in such occasions people could feel tense and go to compromise with their conscience. For instance, a lot of researchers around the world select their jobs because of their passion about science instead of attractive wages. Job satisfaction could provide a feeling that you live has a purpose, so this is the main reason people should be more focused on their career interests instead of money. Secondly, job satisfaction could motivate you to grow as a specialist and as a person. These factors could lead to unbelievable discovery or promotion. It keeps the focus of your attention on your job, providing a satisfied work-life balance. There are plenty of people who resign from their jobs in order to dedicate themselves to a profession that they really enjoyed. For instance, the legendary Freddy Mercury left his job as a loader to become a worldwide pop star as a member of Queen group. Of course such people should have the courage to realize such steps, but they are often awarded by the possibility of being awarded by the profession they really love with. In conclusion, I would like to reaffirm my position that job satisfaction is more important than a huge salary, because it always gives people a sense of fulfillment.
It
is considered
that a huge wage is more beneficial to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a high wage, even if it isn't attractive to you at all. As to my mind, I completely disagree with such a position and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more significant than salary.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
provides a sense of fulfillment which no money can guarantee. Although money is essential for survival and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living, they couldn’t give a sense of accomplishment.
Usually
in such occasions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could feel tense and go to compromise with their conscience.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
researchers around the world select their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their passion about science
instead
of attractive wages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
could provide a feeling that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
has a purpose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this is the main reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be more focused on their career interests
instead
of money.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
could motivate you to grow as a specialist and as a person. These factors could lead to unbelievable discovery or promotion. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the focus of your attention on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, providing a satisfied work-life balance. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who resign from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in order to dedicate themselves to a profession that they
really
enjoyed.
For instance
, the legendary Freddy Mercury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a loader to become a worldwide pop star as a member of Queen group.
Of course
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have the courage to realize such steps,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
awarded by the possibility of
being awarded
by the profession they
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with.

In conclusion
, I would like to reaffirm my position that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than a huge salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it always gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a sense of fulfillment.
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IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Provide relavant examples if necessary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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