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believing that due to the advancement of medical technology, there is an increase in life expectancy.

believing that due to the advancement of medical technology, there is an increase in life expectancy. 2KlkA
One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the people believing that due to the advancement of medical technology, there is an increase in life expectancy. There is a widespread worry that this will lead to a myriad of concerns in one's life. Personally, I believe that it is a beneficial for human being. In the expository paragraph, we will shed light on this perspective with lucid example before giving a conclusion. There are various things to be shared in favor of my stance. The most preponderant one is that old age people can take care of their grand children when their parents go for jobs. There are numerous other benefit in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantages it offers, not only one benefit but more when it comes to being effective and increase productivity with much ease, efficacy and convenience. Needless to say, all these merit stand in one as good stead as far as augmenting the chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned. In addition, I would like to infer that people have to spend less money on medicine due to the better medical technology. Government can increase retirement period due to the increase in life expectancy. For instance, in Japan many people work at age of 70 or above which will be beneficial for government. To conclude, from above elaborate statements, I firmly believe that increase in life expectancy is blessing for our society as well as government. However, with the benefit of hindsight, we conceive the more we research, the further we discover.
One of the most conspicuous trends of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world is a colossal upsurge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believing that due to the advancement of medical technology, there is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy. There is a widespread worry that this will lead to a myriad of concerns in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Personally
, I believe that it is a beneficial for human being. In the expository paragraph, we will shed light on this perspective with lucid example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving a conclusion.

There are various things to
be shared
in favor of my stance. The most preponderant one is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take care of their grand children when their parents go for jobs. There are numerous other benefit in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantages it offers, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to being effective and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
productivity with much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
, efficacy and convenience. Needless to say, all these merit stand in one as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead as far as augmenting the chances of prosperity and excellence
is concerned
.

In addition
, I would like to infer that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend less money on medicine due to the better medical technology.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
retirement period due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy.
For instance
, in Japan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work at age of 70 or above which will be beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

To conclude
, from above elaborate statements, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is blessing for our society
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
However
, with the benefit of hindsight, we conceive the more we research, the
further
we discover.
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IELTS essay believing that due to the advancement of medical technology, there is an increase in life expectancy.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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