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Australian citizens' physical activity

Australian citizens' physical activity GMnxQ
A glance at the given figure reveals the gender-based comparison of Australians, who did physical activity regularly, in various age periods in 2010. Firstly, adolescent Australian males was the most physically active group in 2010 by 52. 8 percent. Between 25-34 age group, Australian males’ proportion in mentioned topic has declined to 42. 2 percent and it plundered to 39. 5 percent between 35-44 years old males. After this age group, the number of physically active Australian males has seen negligible increases between 45-54, 55-64 and 65+ age groups and climbed 43. 1%, 45. 1% and 46. 7% respectively. The proportion of the physically active adolescent females was 47. 7. In stark contrast to men’s trend, their proportion in 25-34, 35-44 and 45-54 age groups rose steadily and reached 48. 9, 52. 5 and 53. 3 percent respectively. In the 55-64 age group, there is a mere decrease to 53 percent and the proportion of physically active individuals fell dramatically to 47. 1 between elderly females. In general, it is evident that female Australians are more tended to do physical activities compared to male individuals. As an exception, in adolescent group males’ tendency is higher.
A glance at the
given
figure reveals the gender-based comparison of Australians, who did physical activity
regularly
, in various
age
periods in 2010.

Firstly
, adolescent Australian
males
was the most
physically
active
group
in 2010 by 52. 8
percent
. Between 25-34
age
group
, Australian
males’
proportion
in mentioned topic has declined to 42. 2
percent
and it plundered to 39. 5
percent
between 35-44 years
old
males
. After this
age
group
, the number of
physically
active
Australian
males
has
seen
negligible increases between 45-54, 55-64 and 65+
age
groups
and climbed 43. 1%, 45. 1% and 46. 7%
respectively
.

The
proportion
of the
physically
active
adolescent females was 47. 7. In stark contrast to
men
’s trend, their
proportion
in 25-34, 35-44 and 45-54
age
groups
rose
steadily
and reached 48. 9, 52. 5 and 53. 3
percent
respectively
. In the 55-64
age
group
, there is a mere decrease to 53
percent
and the
proportion
of
physically
active
individuals fell
dramatically
to 47. 1 between elderly females.

In general
, it is evident that female Australians are more tended to do physical activities compared to male individuals. As an exception, in adolescent
group
males’
tendency is higher.
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IELTS essay Australian citizens' physical activity

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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