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At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. O8p7
As far as I am concerned, the classes and libraries are more significant than the sports and socal activities and are supposed to receive more financial support at the universities and colleges. The explanations are given below. Firstly, university is a place for students to learn the professional knowledge and skills, which are the bases for the future career life. The students' primary task is to study including taking the courses, preparing for the exams and so on. Learning occupies the half or even more of the students' whole school life time. How does a student have energy and time to take part in the sports and social activities if he/she have difficulty in learning some classes? Therefore, the universities must input more money to improve the educational quality. Secondly, it is not practical to provide the same financial support for them. Sports and social activities are the only optional activities after school. Some people may be interested in them while others may perfer to participate in other activities such as volunteer, academic research and entertainment. If the sports and social activities receive enough fundings, what about other activities? Obviously, it is unfair to other activities and the universities must treat them equally. Thirdly, expanding the budget for the sports and social activites will lead to a waste of the money. The form of social activites is various and complicated and it is hard to control the expenses. Take the class party for example, if the budget increases, the class may attempt to make full use of the money and choose a more luxurious place, which is totally unnecessary for the class party. All in all, I believe that it is more reasonable to provide more financial support for the classes and libraries as they are the basic and essential parts of the universities as well as our daily school life.
As far as I
am concerned
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and libraries are more significant than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
socal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
are supposed
to receive more financial support at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and colleges. The explanations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
below.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a place for students to learn the professional knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which are the bases for the future career life. The students' primary task is to study including taking the courses, preparing for the exams and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Learning occupies the half or even more of the students' whole school
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
. How does a student have energy and time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
if he/she have difficulty in learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
?
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
input more money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the educational quality.
Secondly
, it is not practical to provide the same financial support for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
optional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
after school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
be interested
in them while others may
Possible spelling mistake found.
perfer
to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as volunteer, academic research and entertainment. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
Possible spelling mistake found.
fundings
, what about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
?
Obviously
, it is unfair to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
treat them
equally
.
Thirdly
, expanding the budget for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
will lead to a waste of the money. The form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
is various and complicated and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to control the expenses. Take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
party
for example
, if the budget increases, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
may attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the money and choose a more luxurious place, which is
totally
unnecessary for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
party.

All in all, I believe that it is more reasonable to provide more financial support for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and libraries as they are the basic and essential parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
as well
as our daily school life.
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IELTS essay At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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