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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

It is believed that higher number of people in some nations are younger compared with older people. This has many advantages to prove that young generation is future of our country. First benefit of having adults is to improve the growth of economy, which plays a key role in national development. Compared with old people, young people have fresh mind to understand and adjust to the surroundings. This gives them the confidence to mold themselves to be a better person. However, old people have experience than adults they should pass on knowledge and shape them. Second key advantage is young people have a large workforce that helps society move forward. They are the reasons to promote awareness about the environment and endangered species that is the main factor of earth's environment. Old people cannot have time and energy to participate in such events, however, teens raise the issue about society and strive to solve the problem. For instance, young people in one of the African countries, where there is no water to cultivate their food had invented a wind turbine using bicycle that pumps water from underground with the help of wind that rotates the turbine. While their elder people thought that it is waste of time they believed themselves that wind turbine will work and provide water to their city. To sum up, while older people have experience, younger have their own innovative ideas to solve and overcome the hurdles and they are large advantage to country's economy.
It
is believed
that higher number of
people
in
some
nations are younger compared with older
people
. This has
many
advantages to prove that
young
generation is future of our country.

First
benefit of having adults is to
improve
the growth of economy, which plays a key role in national development. Compared with
old
people
,
young
people
have fresh mind to understand and adjust to the surroundings. This gives them the confidence to mold themselves to be a better person.
However
,
old
people
have experience than adults they should pass on knowledge and shape them.

Second key advantage is
young
people
have a large workforce that
helps
society
move
forward. They are the reasons to promote awareness about the environment and endangered species
that is
the main factor of earth's environment.
Old
people
cannot have time and energy to participate in such
events
,
however
, teens raise the issue about society and strive to solve the problem.
For instance
,
young
people
in one of the African countries, where there is no water to cultivate their food had invented a wind turbine using bicycle that pumps water from underground with the
help
of wind that rotates the turbine. While their elder
people
thought
that it is waste of time they believed themselves that wind turbine will work and provide water to their city.

To sum up, while older
people
have experience, younger have their
own
innovative
ideas
to solve and overcome the
hurdles and
they are large advantage to country's economy.
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IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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