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As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. with this statement? 85xEl
Globalization means that in some ways people around the world are becoming more and more similar. We often eat the same food, watch the same TV programmes, listen to the same music and we wear the same clothes. Some of this at least can be blamed on the spread of multinational brands available all over the world. On the surface, it may appear as if the global diversity of cultural identities is being lost. If, the argument goes, people in Tokyo and London look and dress the same, then that must mean that cultural differences are disappearing. However, I would argue that this is a very narrow definition of culture and that in fact cultural differences are as present as ever. Cultural Identity is built on far more than just the films we watch or the jeans we wear. The foundation of cultural identity is shared values. When you look in detail at different cultures, you realize that the things that are important to one culture can be very different from the things valued by another culture. Take my own culture, India, as an example and compare it to a very different culture, Japan. Although I have never visited Japan personally, I believe that it is a culture which places a lot of value on hard work and that people often work very long hours. The Indian people, in contrast, greatly value their leisure time and strive to spend as much time with their family as they possibly can. Even if we consume the same products, I would argue that there are still some very deep-rooted differences. To summarize, I do not accept that total loss of cultural identity is inevitable, despite the influence of large companies and their products around the globe.
Globalization means that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world are becoming more and more similar. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
eat the same food,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the same TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, listen to the same
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
music and
we wear the same clothes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of this at least can
be blamed
on the spread of multinational brands available all over the world.

On the surface, it may appear as if the global diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identities
is
being lost
. If, the argument goes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Tokyo and London look and dress the same, then that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
differences are disappearing.
However
, I would argue that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
narrow definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and that in fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
differences are as present as ever.

Cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Identity
is built
on far more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the films we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
or the jeans we wear. The foundation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
is shared
values. When you look in detail at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, you realize that the things that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the things valued by another culture.

Take my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, India, as an example and compare it to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, Japan. Although I have never visited Japan
personally
, I believe that it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
value on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long hours. The Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
in contrast
,
greatly
value their leisure time and strive to spend as much time with their family as they
possibly
can. Even if we consume the same products, I would argue that there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
deep-rooted differences.

To summarize
, I do not accept that total loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
is inevitable, despite the influence of large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and their products around the globe.
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IELTS essay As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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