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As countries developed, more people can afford to buy cars. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

As countries developed, more people can afford to buy cars. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? BBxd
Nowadays, more individuals have the funds for purchasing private vehicles as a result of societies advancement. Although there are benefits associated with owning a car, some drawbacks arise as well. In my opinion the benefits are greater than the detriments. One evident benefit to be able to pay for a car is that it would help with personal comfort. In other words, having own transportation is less time consuming and convenient for most people to public transport. Another reason that possessing a vehicle would be advantageous since it would support in terms of expense, sometimes personal car saves monthly expenditures that would otherwise be required for a person who travels frequently. For example, a survey revealed that 60% of car owners who have a regular travel schedule agreed that the commute is costing less than what they used to spend on public transport tickets. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages to this trend. Firstly, as a result of growing car numbers, heavy traffic and increased congestions on the roads have been a rising issue in the modern world. Secondly this has led to many environmental crises like air pollution which is considered as one of the major causes of global warming. For Instance, the government in Delhi restricted families from buying more than a single car due to the air pollution caused by excessive traffic. In conclusion, many tend to have a private automobile due to the recent progression. while there are minus points to this, some pluses are there as well. However, buying a car should be wisely taken decision to avoid any negatives.
Nowadays, more individuals have the funds for purchasing private vehicles
as a result
of societies advancement. Although there are benefits associated with owning a
car
,
some
drawbacks arise
as well
. In my opinion the benefits are greater than the detriments.

One evident benefit to be able to pay for a
car
is that it would
help
with personal comfort.
In other words
, having
own
transportation is less
time consuming
and convenient for most
people
to public transport. Another reason that possessing a vehicle would be advantageous since it would support in terms of expense,
sometimes
personal
car
saves monthly expenditures that would
otherwise
be required
for a person who
travels


frequently
.
For example
, a survey revealed that 60% of
car
owners who have a regular travel schedule
agreed
that the commute is costing less than what they
used
to spend on public transport tickets.

On the other hand
, there are
some
disadvantages to this trend.
Firstly
, as a

result
of growing
car
numbers, heavy traffic and increased congestions on the roads have been a rising issue in the modern world.
Secondly
this has led to
many
environmental crises like air pollution which
is considered
as one of the major causes of global warming.
For Instance
, the
government
in Delhi restricted families from buying more than a single
car
due to the air pollution caused by excessive traffic.

In conclusion
,
many
tend to have a private automobile due to the recent progression.
while
there are minus points to this,
some
pluses are there
as well
.
However
, buying a
car
should be
wisely
taken decision to avoid any negatives.
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IELTS essay As countries developed, more people can afford to buy cars. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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