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Artists like writers , actors and singers grab more attention than scientists and inventors. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Artists like writers, actors and singers grab more attention than scientists and inventors. with this view? 7a8O6
It has been said by many that celebrities, singers and writers seem to be seen as more attractive than scientists and business people. I completely agree with this aforementioned statement and like to explain in further paragraphs. To begin with, the person working in science and business are not seen as captivating despite, the necessary inventions and services they provide to the nation. Moreover, their contribution has not been appreciated according to deeds or hard work, they pay for the country. For example, Research by the University of Delhi states, the scientist named Sanjiv Mehta created the environment-friendly vehicle which runs by exposure to the sun, was not praised which is expected. Thus, reducing the amount of motivation among them. On the contrary, eminent personalities like singers, actors, and writers earn colossal respect and attention from the public by providing them entertainment and virtual excitement. In addition, today, entertainment through streaming movies and listening to songs act as a basic needs for today's world. Which is indeed essential to get relief from hectic schedules. For example, celebrities like Akshay Kumar and singer Neha Kakkar have tremendous million followers in their Twitter or Instagram sites. However, Engineer and investors should require to be appraised in order to be motivated while rendering services. To conclude, in present, entertainment industry act as a dominant industry which is fancy by many and gained popularity more than workers who work as scientists or investors.
It has
been said
by
many
that celebrities, singers and writers seem to be
seen
as more attractive than scientists and business
people
. I completely
agree
with this aforementioned statement and like to
explain
in
further
paragraphs.

To
begin
with, the person working in science and business are not
seen
as captivating despite, the necessary inventions and services they provide to the nation.
Moreover
, their contribution has not
been appreciated
according to deeds or
hard
work, they pay for the country.
For example
, Research by the University of Delhi states, the scientist named
Sanjiv
Mehta
created the environment-friendly vehicle which runs by exposure to the sun, was not praised which is
expected
.
Thus
, reducing the amount of motivation among them.

On the contrary
, eminent personalities like singers, actors, and writers earn colossal respect and attention from the public by providing them entertainment and virtual excitement.
In addition
,
today
, entertainment through streaming movies and listening to songs act as a basic needs for
today
's world.
Which
is
indeed
essential to
get
relief from hectic schedules.
For example
, celebrities like Akshay Kumar and singer
Neha
Kakkar
have tremendous million followers in their Twitter or Instagram sites.
However
, Engineer and investors should require to
be appraised
in order to
be motivated
while rendering services.

To conclude
, in present, entertainment industry act as a dominant industry which is fancy by
many
and gained popularity more than workers who work as scientists or investors.
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IELTS essay Artists like writers, actors and singers grab more attention than scientists and inventors. with this view?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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