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Some people argue children should stay in school until the age of 18 while others think that 14 years is long enough. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue children should stay in school until the age of 18 while others think that 14 years is long enough. MMR6Q
Many people believe that children should continue their school education until the span of 18 and others believe that 14 years of life in school is more than enough. But I think children are the bright future of their nation and they required learning as per maturity prospects for future growth. Firstly, as we have seen school the grade levels of study up to 12th. Also, I believe that whenever all the grade levels planned in the past then definitely life-wise criteria must be kept to considered in order to follow up all the study levels. Although before entering at the university level kids supposed to be well known and familiar about the particular stream to begin. However, those facts must be influenced to go upgrade level of studies in particular wide fields. Studies always worth and a huge platform of being a success. Also, other factors i. e. child's capability, in the less age few children have strong IQ level considered to go further in a career as a bright and shiny, on the other hand, other kids require little more time to develop for their skills. Conserve, there are other things emphasis on old life prospect i. e. children seriousness for the study of their childhood. For instance, if I would say children are required to complete their studies at the youth of 14 then it seems more pressure of studies on children, although all grades should be finished until the age of 18 then kids might have enough time to room themselves to go for some specific. In conclusion, age is not the barrier to completing the schools instead of the children mental ability outcomes. I think 18 years of age is sufficient to groom to learn.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education until the span of 18
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
believe that 14 years of life in
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school
is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the bright future of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nation and
they required learning as per maturity prospects for future growth.

Firstly
, as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
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school
the grade
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levels
of
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study
up to 12th.
Also
, I believe that whenever all the grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
planned in the past then definitely life-wise criteria
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
to considered in order to follow up all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
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levels
. Although
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before
entering at the university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
kids supposed to be well known and familiar about the particular stream to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
.
However
, those facts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be influenced
to go upgrade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in particular
wide fields.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studies
always worth and a huge platform of being a success.
Also
,
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other
factors
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
child's capability, in the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have strong IQ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
The verb 'considered' is used with the gerund form: "considered going".
considered to go
further
in a career as a bright and shiny, on the
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other
hand,
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other
kids require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more time to develop for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Conserve, there are
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other
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "things'" or "thing's"?
things
emphasis on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
life prospect
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
seriousness for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of their childhood.
For instance
, if I would say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are required
to complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
at the youth of 14 then it seems more pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, although all grades should
be finished
until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 18 then kids might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to room themselves to go for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific.

In conclusion
,
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age
is not the barrier to completing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mental ability outcomes. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
18 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is sufficient to groom to learn.
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IELTS essay Some people argue children should stay in school until the age of 18 while others think that 14 years is long enough.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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